


Getting It All Back

by Irollforinitiative



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pining, Post Season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-02-28 04:23:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13263612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irollforinitiative/pseuds/Irollforinitiative
Summary: Without magic, without his friends, and without purpose, Quentin has to do something to keep his life from once again becoming what it had been before he came to Brakebills. So, he finds a spark of hope and takes it with him to Fillory. What he finds there isn't a magical or easy resolution, though. It's Eliot.Set post season 2. Not at all season 3 compliant as I started writing it months ago. My own ideas of how to fix things. Mostly focused on Quentin and Eliot and their total inability to discuss emotions even while falling in love with one another. Because who has time to fix magic when you're too busy being sexually overactive and emotionally constipated at the same time?





	1. Sparks

_ I have to get back _ .  _ I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get back. I have to get ba-- _

From the moment Quentin opened his eyes the day after the magic was shut off, the reality of his actions setting in as he looked around and took in that he was on Earth and completely powerless, the thought of  _ I have to get back _ flitted through Quentin's mind. He’d killed a god. He’d been the direct cause of the world losing magic. And he’d slammed closed the door between Fillory and Earth. Quentin had literally spent the majority of his life pining for Fillory. And then, then he’d actually gotten the chance to go there. Actually gotten the chance to become a fucking king of Fillory, but there was always something keeping him away. Always some crisis sending him back to Earth while Eliot got to sit on the throne as High King and single handedly work to save Fillory. After all of that bullshit, Quintin couldn’t even get trapped in Fillory? He had to get trapped back on Earth? All because he had to get back to Earth to be sure Alice was okay. 

Alice. Who he’d slept with and for the briefest moment thought things were going to go back to how they were. For a split second it seemed like she was actually back. But she wasn't. The loss of magic had somehow made Alice even more insane. Having any magical ability had kept her in check, but without magic she’d become just as angry and violent as she was when she was a niffin. Some days Quintin wondered if her shade was even there anymore. Or if, somehow, she’d ripped it out herself so she could act like a niffin still without any guilt. Of course that stopped when he saw her talking and laughing with Dean Fogg. So it wasn’t that she was a monster still. She just hated him. Not long after that she’d disappeared. 

Kady was gone, too. Penny? God only knew if he was even alive still. Or...well the librarians knew, at least. Julia went back to law school. Even if she hated him it was at least comforting to have Alice around. Once she left Quintin had to face the truth he was alone. No magic was horrible and frightening, but to be back on Earth still meant that suddenly he was right back where he started: on Earth, no magic, stuck, and alone. The thought became his mantra. Every day, even when studying and learning, became centered around finding a way to get back to Fillory. 

When he saw the sparks coming out of Julia’s fingers he felt hope for the first time in months. 

“Do...do you think you could use that to start filling a magical battery?” 

Julia frowned and looked at her fingers. “I...I don’t know. I can barely make sparks. What good would filling a battery do?”

Quintin stood up and started to pace, running his fingers through his hair. “We, we, we could start to find a spell and try and open another portal to Fillory. Go and see if it’s the same there or if Eliot and Margo have any ideas or…” 

“No. No, no, no Q. Q what the fuck?!” Julia stood up as well, shouting over Quentin as he started to ramble. 

“What the fuck, Q? I tell you that there’s still magic in the world and you just want to leave? We have to fix this. We have to find a way to get magic back. We can’t just let go of magic.” 

Quentin’s hands were shaking as he crossed his arms and hugged himself to try and quell the anxiety he felt rising. “No! No, if I’m going to be fucking trapped somewhere without magic I want to be there with my friends and not here. Magic is gone, Jules. You have sparks. It’s a fluke. But we can exploit it and at least get to be in Fillory.”

Disgust washed over Julia’s face as she took a step back, “How do you not want to fix this? How can you just accept this? Q, this isn’t you. What the hell is wrong?”

Quentin grit his teeth, looking up to try and fight back his anger. It spilled over as he faced Julia, shouting at her. “I’m fucking alone! Everyone is gone. Everyone. You’re gone. Alice is gone. Kady is gone. Hell, I’d even take Penny right now. He’s gone too, though. I want to go where I’m not alone. How can you not understand that?!” 

“How can you not want magic back?!” Julia stood up taller, shouting back, “You say you’re alone, but I’m still right fucking here. You’ve done nothing but host a pity party since we lost magic. I have tried to move on. And now? Now there’s a chance and I want to try and fix this.” 

“Moved on? Is that what you call becoming a hedge witch when Brakebills doesn’t let you in?” Quentin was getting angry enough to be spiteful, but he didn’t care. It felt good to be angry. It felt good to feel anything other than lost.

Julia pressed her lips together, looking away and deflating a little. “No. I called that getting in over my head and making mistakes that I can’t take back no matter how hard I try,” her voice broke as she finished. 

Quentin looked away, ashamed at reminding her of Richard. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

“I know you didn’t, Q. That’s still what happened. And that’s what I’ve been trying to forget for the last two months. And in spite of all that hurt I still want to try and fix things. So what’s your excuse?”

Quentin sighed and looked up at the stars, taking a moment to try and find the words he needed. “It wasn’t about the magic.”

“What?”

“At first it was. It was about being a magician. But after the first few months? It wasn’t about the magic anymore. God, it was fun to learn new things but what made Brakebills special... what made this place feel like home? It was the people. Alice, Eliot, Margo, Kady, and even Penny treated me like I was normal. Like I’m not broken and need to be glued back together. They treated me like family and now they’re all gone. I...I think I can live the rest of my life without magic, but I’m not sure I can live the rest of my life without them. And I know where two of them are and they’re in the one place I’ve always wanted to live but never got a chance to. So I’m sorry if I’m tired of fighting, but I just want to go home.” 

Julia sniffed, jaw stiff as a few tears slipped past her eyelashes. “And I didn’t treat you like that? I didn’t love you like family no matter what? I didn’t spend years of my life trying to figure out how to help you?” 

“That’s just it. You wanted to help. Because you thought something was wrong. They treated me like something was right.” Quentin looked at her, wanting to feel bad about hurting her feelings, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t feel bad after so many years of Julia putting herself first and treating him like a broken toy she needed to fix. When they were kids they were equals. However, since they grew up, Julia always had to be the best and always had to be the one to fix Quentin. Even when he was the best, when he was the one to get into Brakebills, she couldn’t let it go. Time loop or not, the way she treated him after Brakebills had changed things between them. 

“Fine. But if you ever need me, you better know damn well that I’ll be here for you. Even if you’re not here for me.” Julia wiped her face dry and turned, storming off towards her car. 

Quentin wanted to feel bad. He did. But he’d needed her so many times in the past year when she wasn’t there for him. It was his turn, now. 


	2. Most Prized Posession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but they get a bit longer very soon.

“Quentin, as I said before I am aware of the rumors but--”

“This isn’t a rumor,” Quentin interrupted Dean Fogg, “this is something I saw with my own two eyes. It was the same, shitty sparkler spell she found on the internet when Brakebills sent her away. It was weak and took effort but somehow she was still able to access magic.” 

Dean Fogg frowned and removed his dark glasses to expose his scared and unfixed eyes. “I know I cannot see. But you can still look me in my eyes and repeat that. Do not lie to me, Quentin.” 

Quentin looked into the Dean’s eyes, remembering how bright they used to be before the Beast pulled them out. “She did magic. It wasn’t much, but it was there.” 

Fogg sighed softly and put his glasses back on, folding his hands and frowning. “Interesting. That should not be possible. I’ve tried. We’ve all tried. Every day we’ve all tried. Haven’t you?”

“Yes. Every day there’s a moment when I forget and I go to use a basic spell. It never works. But...but I know what I saw.” 

“I trust that you do. You are one of the students I consider most trustworthy when it comes to recognizing magic even in the most inauspicious locations. It has been your life’s obsession. Therefore...I will look into this. Metaphorically. I will get the rest of the staff working on it as well. Hell, I’ll get the students researching it. Without telling them why they’re researching it, of course. If there is even a single strand of hope to get magic back, we must follow that strand to its nexus.” 

“Thank you. I...I know we haven’t always had the best history. But you’re the Dean for a reason. I knew you’d listen to me.” Quentin stood and headed to the door, pausing before he left the room. 

“Something more?” 

Quentin turned and sighed, staring at his feet. “It’s just...if magic is back, even just a little bit, I…”

Fogg held up his hand to silence Quentin. “If there is even just a little bit of magic left, I’m going to have to ask you to go back to Fillory.”

“You...are?” 

“Yes. We have some magic here, but the wellspring is in Fillory. Not only that, but two of my students are still there and I have no idea if they’re okay. I’ve sent them and you off to die far too many times. I know you’ve already done so much for this school and this world, but I’m going to have to ask one more thing: save Fillory. When magic is righted there it will be righted here as well, in theory.” 

Quentin smiled and ducked his head. “I...I...okay. Yes. I mean it would be my pleasure to go back to Fillory and try and fix things there. After all, Eliot and Margo are still there.” 

Fogg smiled. “I’m glad you’re willing to help us once again. Try and get some sleep. I’ll let you know if we figure anything out.” 

Quentin smiled again and turned to leave. Dean Fogg was taking care of him. Once again. Whether they saw it or not, Fogg was always in the background, trying to help them out. Trying to help all his students. The plumber had come to Brakebills and turned off the connection to the wellspring. If Fillory were really the answer, then turning it off in Fillory would have been enough. Sure there it was flashy to show up during class and turn off magic, but it wasn’t really necessary if they were just cutting off the source. It wasn’t about that, though. Not really. Somehow Dean Fogg knew Quentin needed to go back. That, or he really did think they needed to fix things in Fillory first. It didn’t matter the reason. All that mattered was that there was hope. It was a thread to hang on to for dear life in a stormy ocean of problems. But it was there and he was going to tug on it until he found a rope or the thread broke.

A month later, Quentin had to ask himself whether a thread fraying counted as breaking or not. 

“We have some news.” Fogg had called Quentin into his office after class that day. 

Quentin sat forward in the chair he’d thrown himself into, feeling his heart beat faster at the prospect of news. “Oh?”

“We think we have sorted out why Julia can still perform some rudimentary magic. Through my channels we have discovered that magical creatures, creatures for whom magic is a part of their existence, can still perform magic. It is only humans, those of us directly tapped into the well spring, that were affected.”

Quentin narrowed his eyes. “So...Julia isn’t human?”

Dean Fogg sighed and shook his head. “Not entirely. Not anymore. She was impregnated by a god. When a woman is pregnant she ends up with bits of the child’s DNA in her body for the rest of her life. The child becomes a part of her being.” 

“And that child wasn’t entirely human.” Quentin’s stomach dropped and he felt sick with disappointment. 

Fogg nodded. “Exactly. But this isn’t a dead end. This means that we’re the only ones cut off. There are still creatures we can potentially ally with.”

“Allies? That’s what we’ve got now?” Quentin ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands to try and quell the anxiety building in his chest.

“It’s not just that. We saw something interesting this week. One of the spelled lanterns turned on.”

“W-what? Like just...turned on again? With magic?”

“Not exactly. We saw it flicker for a few seconds then fade. Our research is showing that objects imbued with magic have been flickering now and then since we were cut off.”

“So? So sometimes the lights work? What does that really give us?”

“Next we find the clock that leads to Fillory. And we also trade the dragon for the button between here and Fillory. Then you have a way in, and a way out. Even if it only works intermittently, it will be something. It will be hope. And we could really use that right now.”

Quentin frowned and took a slow breath. “Hope sounds...amazing right about now. I just...I don’t see it.”

Fogg smiled softly and leaned back in his chair. “It really does, doesn’t it? I think we could all use something other than this damn quiet. It doesn’t matter if you have to sit there and click that button for a year, if I can tell everyone here that you traveled back and you’re trying to get it fixed? That will mean the world to us all. Students and faculty alike.” 

“Okay. I just...how am I supposed to get the button back from the dragon, though? The clock I can handle. Umber is dead so that’s just...that’s just walking into the house and taking it. But the button? We had to trade that to go to the spirit world. I don’t even want to know what I’d have to trade to get it back.”

“You traded the button because it was your most prized possession at the time. The emotion attached to it gives it power. Therefore, you need to find something worth even more.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes and slumped in the chair, knowing immediately what was worth more to him than the button. “Fuck. Of course that’s what it would be. I’ll have to trade  _ Fillory and Further Book 1 _ just to have a...fucking small chance to ever see Fillory again. Of course. Fucking poignant.”

“Yes, well, life’s a bitch and then you die,” Dean Fogg stood and made his way to the door of his office, “Books can be replaced. Get it together and pack a bag. I’ll arrange for transportation for you in the morning. Bring back the button and the clock and I’ll buy you a thousand copies of book one.” 

Quentin smiled softly and stood, pausing next to Fogg. “Thanks. For the hope, I guess.” 

“Quentin, I’m not going to pretend that this was what I had planned for you or for any of us. If I had my way we’d be on try 45 by now or we’d have gotten everything sorted completely. Hell, I’d be glad to be going in your place. But I’m blind. And I’m stuck in this fucking office while my students go out and do the dirty work. Alice is my best student, but she’s gone now, not that she was even herself since becoming corporeal again. Penny is gone. Kady is gone. Eliot and Margo are trapped in Fillory. I have dozens of other students, Quentin. I won’t lie and say you are my first choice. But you have something none of the rest of them have, a deep and resounding love of Fillory and magic. I’m not sure you can fix this. But I need you to try. Please. And if you can’t, at least you’ll be somewhere where you won’t have to self medicate. Hopefully. If nothing else, Fillory is your dream world. You can be happy there..” 

Quentin narrowed his eyes and stared at the Dean. “I...okay? So if I fail just...go on with life and be happy?”

Fogg rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air. “I don’t know. I was trying to be inspirational. Take it or leave it, but get the fuck out of my office and don’t come back ‘till you have the button and the clock.”

Quentin sighed and left the office, feeling strangely uplifted. It was all things he’d done before. Trade with the dragon. Go to Umber’s house. Come back with the clock and the button. Shouldn’t be hard.  It wasn’t actually guaranteed to work, but it was a lead. A frail, tenuous lead that was better than sitting in the half empty Physical Kids house while watching everyone slowly decide to drop out and become normal again. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t go back to that life and the self medicating. Sitting there at Brakebills he was already starting to wonder if it was all worth it again. Quentin couldn’t even consider what it would be like going back now that he’d spent so much time finally belonging. 

So he packed a bag, and put the book that defined his entire life so far on the top before zipping it up. 

 


	3. "There"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intend to update every Friday or Saturday. Once I can get this 100% finished I'll do twice a week, but it's weekends until I can finish it.

For the first time in his life, Quentin actually believed that the universe had some grand scale and that after difficulties, you were paid back with things going easily. Umber’s house was empty. He smashed a window and walked out the front door with the clock (and a couple of smaller trinkets too because why not) without so much as stumbling over a rug. When he made his way to the dragon’s keep, she not only remembered him, but was so enthralled by  _ Fillory and Further Book 1 _ that she didn’t even try to bargain. She tossed the button at him within seconds and snatched the book away. A three day weekend of travel later, and Quentin was passing through the barricades outside of Brakebills, both objects in hand. 

It was too easy. The other shoe had to drop sooner or later. 

“Good god that was easy.” Fogg ran his hands over the clock and smiled. 

Quentin nodded. “Yeah. I’m not even sure I trust it.”

“Come now, Quentin. Hope. It was powered by a god. Believe it will work and get on in.”

“No I mean this was all too easy and...wait...get in now?”

“Yes, now. Who do you have to say goodbye to? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. As do we all. So get in the damn clock. You think it was too easy? Get in. It’s the only way to find out if you’re right.”

“O...okay I...what if it works?” Quentin stood and tucked the button into his pocket before grabbing a jacket. 

“Then you have a lot of work to do. But,” Fogg smiled and reached out, finding Quentin’s shoulder and squeezing it, “be safe. I’ve watched you die more times than I’d like to admit. I’d prefer it if you survive. And if you can fix magic.” He smiled. 

Quentin ducked his head and nodded. “Okay. I’ve been there plenty of times before. Don’t know why I’m so scared this time.” 

“Because this time  _ you _ have to fix it and you alone.” Fogg nodded and opened the clock. 

“Right. Well. Here goes nothing.” Quentin reached into the clock. 

As soon as he reached, he knew it was working. Rather than finding the back of the clock less than a foot in, he found nothing. He easily followed his arm, climbing through the clock. The darkness only lasted a few seconds, quickly replaced by pain and bright light. Lots of pain. So much pain. Okay. Yeah. Air was knocked out of him. He took a ragged breath and held his side where he’d hit the ground. Why had he even hit the ground? Quentin looked around as his vision cleared and he saw the trees. The dense, verdant forest of Fillory. He was back. Holy shit he was actually back. 

Quentin laughed and covered his face with his hands. It was like an electric show how amazing it felt to be back. Quentin lay back on the leaf litter and closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of Fillory. He’d only barely had time to appreciate it before. But this time? The air smelled sweeter than it ever had before. Magic was gone and that needed to be fixed. Yes. But compared to the other times he’d visited Fillory he’d always had a sword over his head or a dog at his heels. He’d never been there to stay. There to live. Finally, in the world of his childhood dreams, he was there to stay.

After a few minutes of resting, Quentin sat up and looked around. Standing and dusting himself off, he started down the road. He recognized the path instantly: this was the way to the castle and he was fairly close. Judging by the sun, he’d be able to make it there before night. There was no telling what he’d actually find, but he couldn’t contemplate it being anything other than Eliot and Margo, safe and healthy. The castle and country was another thing entirely, but they had to be okay. They had to be. He didn’t know how much time had passed in Fillory, but things still looked similar, at least. Sometimes it seemed like time moved slower there, other times like it moved faster. Suddenly his mind started to race. What if it had been years? What if things had changed too much? What if he took too long getting there and it couldn’t be fixed? God what if Margo and Eliot were--

“Oh for fuck’s sake. Stop wiggling your fingers! Magic is gone. Grow up and use the damn hoe or else we will all starve to death. How is this so hard to understand?” Eliot’s voice cut through the forest. 

Quentin head swam and he rushed towards the sound. Just through the trees was a large plot of land that was being tilled. Eliot was dressed in casual attire, standing with his hands on his hips as he watched three people swinging hoes into the dirt. Quentin stood at the edge of the plot of land and stared. Eliot looked the same as ever. Same rings. Same hair. Same attitude. Same Eliot. Quentin grinned and started walking forward. After a few steps, Eliot looked up at the movement and saw Quentin. 

“Oh holy fuck.” he started rushing towards Quentin. 

It took only a few steps before they met in the middle, crashing into one another for a tight hug. 

“God damn it, Q. It took you long enough.” Eliot held Quentin so tight his arms were almost shaking from the effort. 

Quentin smiled and tucked his face into the crook of Eliot’s neck. “I came as soon as I was able to.”

“Yeah, well it wasn’t fast enough.” 

“Yeah? I mean...do I even have permission to touch the High King? You sure I’m not breaking rules right now?”

“Shut up. You always do. Especially when you’ve been gone for months without any word or anything at all.” 

Quentin frowned and let Eliot go. Eliot held on for just a few more seconds before sighing and letting Quentin go. 

“Wait. How long has it been in here?” 

“Three months two days. Why? How long has it been out there?” Eliot looked worried. 

Quentin smiled slowly. “Three months and two days.”

“That’s it? God I’ve been so worried that you’ve been out there alone for years or something horrible like that.” Eliot relaxed and held Quentin’s shoulders. 

Quentin grinned and stepped forward to hug Eliot again. “I...I’ve spent three months worrying the same thing. I don’t know why it’s the same, though. Maybe it was the wellspring or, or the magic somehow affected it or we got lucky or--”

“Or none of that matters because you’re here now and we can figure out a way to fix this. Speaking of,” Eliot moved back, slipping his arm around Quentin’s shoulder and leading him towards the castle, “how the hell  _ are _ you here?”

“I...I wish I fucking knew? I came through the clock. The first door to Fillory. Everything just sort of...worked out. Keep expecting the other shoe to drop.”

“How did that work without magic?”

“Uh...god magic actually. They still have magic. And magical objects...flicker, apparently.” 

Eliot laughed without any mirth. “As do all the magical creatures that...aren’t us. Don’t ask me how I know that. So you got here and now you’re gonna save us all?”

“I’m not sure how. Fogg just sent me here with some hope. I don’t even have a plan.” He looked up at Eliot and sighed. “I’m not here to save the day. I wish that I were. I think I’m just here for me.”

“Oh, honey. Not everything is about you. Magic is gone, yes. But we’ve got more pressing issues here in my fine country and, honestly, I could use your help.” Eliot grimaced. “The fairies are here. And they won’t leave.”

“Fairies?”

“Oh yes. Didn’t you get the updated news? Margot sold my child to the fairies so I could win a sword fight but it was all for nothing because I’d already brokered peace. So then my damn wife went to the fairy realm to get our daughter back, and refused to leave. That pissed the fairies off, and so now they want the castle. They want Fillory and they have the magic to take it, but the bitch of it is that for some reason they have to have compliance. So they’re trying to figure out how to get everyone to just...accept them. I’m making that harder by trying to be a damn good king, but it’s really not working because it’s hard to be a king when you’re so fucking...alone.” Eliot sighed and looked down at his feet. 

Quentin frowned and stopped walking. “Hey. Alone? Isn’t Margot here? Is...is she okay?”

Eliot stopped walking as well, but didn’t face Quentin.. “She doesn’t really count anymore.” 

“What? Since when? Eliot, what’s going on?” Quentin stepped in front of Eliot and ducked his head just a little to look him in the eye. 

Eliot looked up to meet Quentin’s gaze and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

Quentin frowned and crossed his arms. “It very well fucking does matter.” 

“Quentin, darling, we’re friends but we’re not that good of friends. We’re not ‘there’...okay?” Eliot raised an eyebrow. 

“So what? I don’t care if we’re not there because I need us to be there. You think you’re alone? I’ve got no one. If we’re being real, I haven’t had anyone but Julia for most of my life. I didn’t even have myself because my own mind told me horrible things. My own mind told me to kill myself sometimes. And then I lost Julia. And I lost magic, the one thing that made me feel like I finally belonged. And then I lost all the people that I found at Brakebills...so I’ve spent three months sitting in my room at fucking magic school, without magic, trying to find a reason to not kill myself. And so it doesn’t matter if we weren’t there before because the world has gone to shit, so we’re ‘there’ now. Okay? Skip forward a few chapters and tell me what’s wrong because right now you’re all I’ve got and apparently I’m all you’ve got.” Quentin set his jaw, feeling his eyes prickle a little with unshed tears.

Eliot stared at him, eyes wide like an animal caught in a trap. “I...I had never been in love before...before Mike. Maybe with myself, or the person I’d created myself to be, but really I just spent every day struggling. Telling myself that everything was going to be okay and it would get better sooner or later. Then Mike happened. I fell in love for the first time and suddenly it was better. And then he died.” 

“El...I’m still so sorry. I didn’t know you loved--” Quentin frowned and reached out to squeeze Eliot’s bicep. 

Eliot snatched his arm free and interrupted Quentin to shout, “He died because I killed him! I fell in love with the fucking Beast and then I had to kill him. The life I’d built for myself crumbled into a pile and Margo wasn’t there. And she didn’t seem to care. She didn’t want to deal with the pile of rubble she found when she came back home. And we both pretended like it was all okay and for a little bit there it was. It really was okay again. I had my best friend back. But then she dealt with the fairies behind my back and I realized that it wasn’t normal again. We used to talk. She used to tell me everything! But she did all this behind my back and I still haven’t told her everything about Mike. We’re not the same and her selling my child just proved it to me.  So yes, she’s fine. Technically we’re fine since we’re still not talking about anything and we’re pretending again. Though, the charade has worn pretty thin since we’ve been trapped here. So yes, Margo is alive and here. But I’m still alone and I have been for what feels like twenty years. You want to be ‘there’, Quentin? You’re not the only one that’s spent the last three months finding reasons not to kill yourself.” 

Eliot’s eyes were red but he didn’t cry. He’d cried all the tears he could spare in the weeks after he killed Mike. Quentin remembered hearing it every night. Remembered standing outside Eliot’s room, wanting to go in but uncertain if it was his place to. Uncertain if their friendship was that kind of friendship. 

“El...Eliot I’m so sorry. I saw what was happening to you and I wanted to say something. I wanted to everyday but I didn’t think...you’d let me. I’m so sorry. I made a mistake by staying away, then. But I’m here now. You’re not alone. I don’t give a shit how long we’ve been friends or the kind of friendship we had before. I’m here now. For you. For anything you need.” Quentin reached out again to gently squeeze Eliot’s bicep. 

Eliot stared at him for a long second before sighing and relaxing, stepping forward to hug Quentin again. “I just need a friend. And...well you’re the first person I’ve even told all that to so I guess we are ‘there’.” 

Quentin hugged him back and frowned. “We all saw it. Any one of us could have spoken up. We just didn’t know what to say.” 

“There was nothing to say. And it’s in the past, now.” Eliot stepped back and shrugged. 

“And now?”

Eliot’s mouth curled into a half smile. “Now you’re here. Shouting at me until I open up.” 

Quentin smiled at him, looking into his eyes. His wide, hazel eyes. It was so easy to look into them. It felt like coming home and Quentin hadn’t felt like that since Alice…. Quentin blinked and looked away. 

“Hopefully that’s enough. I feel like now that I’m here I have no plan and no hope. I just came here...well so I wasn’t alone either.” Quentin shrugged. 

Eliot smiled and draped his arm around Quentin’s shoulders again, starting to walk towards the castle. “Well, if nothing else we can be not alone together.”

Quentin nodded and wrapped his arm around Eliot’s waist, glad for the companionship. “Yeah. God I really missed you guys.”

“Yeah. About that. I thought, like, everyone was still at Brakebills.” 

“No. Kady left to try and find a cure for Penny. That was before we lost magic, but I haven’t seen her since. Penny is still at the library. Or he’s dead. God only knows. Alice was there for a while but, well, even with her shade she’s not really Alice anymore. She disappeared a few weeks back. Julia went back to a normal life. It’s just been me. Me and your booze collection.” 

Eliot chuckled softly. “I hope you’ve been treating him well.” 

“If by treating him well you mean drinking heavily most nights, then yes.” 

“Well, that’s what he was used to from me, so yes. Sometimes I miss that damn liquor cabinet. More than anything I just miss my old room.” 

Quentin looked up at him and frowned. “I wish I’d have thought to bring you some of your stuff.” 

“Mmm,” Eliot shrugged, “I don’t even know what I’d want. It seems like a lifetime ago that I lived there. Doesn’t mean I don’t still miss it, though. The room. And the life I had there.” 

“I...well I...I guess I don’t get that. I spent my whole life wanting to live in Fillory. I know it’s jacked up but, I mean, it’s still Fillory.”

“Yeah? You jealous you’re not high king?” 

Quentin smiled and shrugged. “A little bit?”

“Well now you can stay here and help rule and realize how much of a shit show everything is.” Eliot smiled as they walked up the path to the castle. 

Quentin laughed softly and looked at the castle, taking a deep breath. “God. I can barely wait.”

“So young and hopeful. That’s adorable. Right now we’re trying to not seem like douche bags, so just be nice to everyone. They need to love us more than the fairies even though the fairies have magic and can make everything easy for them again.” Eliot led Quentin through the halls to the wing of private rooms for royalty. 

“Speaking of, where are they?” 

“Oh, those pale cocks occupy the throne room and dining hall. They hold court there. So far no one is coming because I hold court in the middle of town.”

“So you’re just...being a good king?”

“Yup. It’s the only way to keep the fairies at bay, right now. They trust the king inherently so I just need to keep the trust. Feed the people, fight for them, and if all else fails just fuck them until they like you. It’s making for an interesting time ruling.” Eliot smiled. 

“But I thought you couldn’t…you know.”

“Fuck? Oh that was Fillory mariage magic. And with magic gone...I’m a free man”

“That must be making things easier.” Quentin smiled. 

Eliot took a slow breath and shrugged. “Maybe a little bit. Weirdly you just being here is more comforting than the orgy I had last week.” 

“Well then I guess we really are ‘there’.” Quentin winked. 

“Oh god, he’s cocky now. What have I done?” Eliot led Quentin down a hallway towards the wing of the castle that held bedrooms. 

“Opened up about your real feelings?” Quentin raised an eyebrow, trying to pass the statement off as a joke even though he really was quite honored that Eliot had opened up to him. 

“Okay new subject. So we’ve been short on supplies which means your old rooms aren’t exactly as well appointed as they used to bem but they’re kept clean. Just in case. And I’m still across the hall if you need anything or...have nightmares or something. I’ll have the tailor come by later and get you some different clothes so you stand out less. If you want you can come with me to town tomorrow. But that’s up to you.” Eliot opened the door to Quentin’s rooms. 

Quentin stood at the door and fidgeted a little. “I...thanks El. I’d like that.”

Eliot rolled his eyes and sighed. “Stop that.”

Quentin frowned and looked around. “Stop what?”

“That. The thing where you get all awkward and stumble over your words so you look adorable and everyone feels sorry for you. It doesn’t work on me. Okay...it doesn’t work on me well, at least. You’re one of the kings of Fillory. Unexpected or not you have a home here. So stop thinking you’re imposing and go into the room so I can go finish my long list of shit to get done today. Okay?”

“Okay. I just...I...I don’t know I feel weird just going into a room and settling in like this is normal.” 

Eliot shrugged. “Listen, you bitches have popped in and out of Fillory a dozen times while I just sat here. Big emotional moments aside, this is just like any other trip. Except you’re here to stay. And I just opened up to you a lot. But I don’t like doing that so I’m just pretending everything is normal because that’s the best I can do right now. So go in your fucking room and settle in because you live here now.”

Quentin smiled slowly and nodded. “I missed you.” 

Eliot rolled his eyes again and pushed Quentin into the room. “Oh my god. I take everything back. Leave.”

Quentin laughed and went into the rooms, closing the door behind him. He looked around and smiled. It was just like he remembered it the last time he’d stayed in Fillory. Maybe a little more bare, but it still felt the same. His crown was still there. Before he’d finished looking around there was a knock on his door. 

“Your highness. King Eliot sent me to dress you.” 

Quentin went to the door and opened it, revealing a smiling, older man. “Hello. You’re the tailor?”

“Yes I am. Fennik is my name. May I come in?” He pushed past Quentin, not waiting for an answer to begin laying out the clothes he’d brought. 

Quentin watched him and stiffly closed the door. “Come...on in, I guess. Last time I was here I just got clothes given to me. I don’t know if I need a tailor.”

“That was for a few days. King Eliot says you will be here for more time. You need proper garments. Stand still with your arms out.” he pulled out a measuring tape. 

Quentin held his arms out and sighed. “Okay. But I don’t want to put you out.”

“You’re not putting me out. You’re paying me. I brought two outfits that should last until I make some for you. The crown will be billed when they’re finished. What is your favorite color, by the way.” Fennik started measuring Quentin. 

“Umm. I...I don’t know I just usually wear whatever is in style.”

“King Eliot requested earth tones and jewel tones and the King tends to set the style. If that helps.”

“I...I guess I really like blue. And grey?” 

Fennik looked at him and nodded. “A nice, sapphire blue? That will look stunning with your complexion and eyes.”

Quentin blushed a little at the compliment and nodded. “Okay. That sounds fine.” 

“I brought something that should be acceptable for a public appearance tomorrow. Shall I send one of the girls to help with your hair as well?”

“My...hair?” Quentin lowered his arms as Fennik wrote down a stream of numbers before laying out a rich looking blue and gold filigree jerkin as well as shirt, trousers, and boots to go along with it. 

Fennik started packing his things up and nodded. “Oh yes. Cannot have your hair falling in your face when you meet your subjects for the first time. Just bathe before breakfast tomorrow and she will come round to help you dress and prepare. First impressions are important to King Eliot.”

“Oh...okay. Yeah. Whatever he needs.” Quentin nodded, feeling very overwhelmed all of a sudden. 

“Good. I will be back day after tomorrow with a small wardrobe. Once you have stronger preferences I’ll make you more outfits.” Fennik bowed and turned, leaving the room. 

Quentin took a shaky breath and sat on the bed. It was blissfully soft and cool. Quentin crawled to the middle of the bed, sliding under the blankets and pulling them over his head to block out everything. He was in Fillory. Somehow it all went right and now he was in Fillory. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what was he thinking? This was all too much. All too new. All too scary. At Brakebills he could just exist but here he had to rule. How was he going to rule? And Eliot? No one had ever relied on him before. Not really. Julia was fine on her own. He was always the one that needed things from a friendship. But apparently all it took was some shouting and seeing each other after so long apart and Eliot opened up. He needed someone. Eliot needed someone so desperately that he’d told Quentin everything. Since Eliot didn’t have Margo, that meant that he needed Quentin. The last of his closer friends. That thought alone was overwhelming. He wasn’t prepared for this. They had been close but never that close. And he was supposed to fix magic too? 

Quentin curled up tighter under the blankets and tried to slow his breathing down. He should have brought his medication with him. He thought it was going to be different here but apparently it wasn’t. 

Breathing through his hands so he didn’t hyperventilate, Quentin didn’t even register that he was falling asleep, his body just shutting down rather than deal with all the stress. Hearing a loud sound, Quentin sat up, bewildered, and looked around to try and remember where he was. Just as he was sorting out his location the knock came again. 

“Quentin. Open the fucking door.” Margo half shouted, banging on the door again. 

Quentin stumbled out of the bed, opening the door and squinting at the light of the hallway. “Margo?”

“Oh my god. Don’t tell me you were asleep already. Come on, Q. I know you’re not a party animal but still. That’s just sad. It’s like...four pm.” She rolled her eye, glittering eyepatch over the missing eye.. 

Quentin rubbed his eyes and shook his head. “No. No I just fell asleep. I didn’t mean to. I was just...sorry. It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah. Good to see you too, I guess. Come on, it’s time for dinner.” Margot turned and walked off, not waiting for Quentin. 

Quentin quickly ran his fingers through his hair and trotted off after her. “I...uh...where are we going? What’s happening?”

Margo sighed heavily. “What do you not get? We’re eating. We’re going to one of the dining halls we still have access to. I want a chance to say hello before I say goodbye. It’s not that complicated.” 

“Wait, you’re leaving? But I just got here? What is happening?”

“Yeah, well welcome to the last year of everyone’s lives. We’re always leaving.” She glanced at him and softened. “I need to go back to the fairy realm. I need to figure out a way to set this right. You showing up here gave me an opportunity to do so.”

“Oh. Why? Do you have any idea what you’re going to do? I mean...last time when you came back you lost an eye” Quentin shoved his hands in his pockets as he followed her into a dining hall, taking the seat across from her. 

Margo sighed and let her head hit the back of the chair before reaching up and touching the eyepatch. “I know I just know I can’t stay here any longer, though. For a split second there things were better. I thought it was going to be okay. But now Eliot treats me like I killed his mother, Fen hates me even though she agreed to this herself, and even the people of Fillory can’t stand me. I’d rather have no eyes than spend another minute here, surrounded by people and still totally alone,  And I think it will be best if I just leave, whether I can fix this child thing or not.”

Quentin fidgeted with the box in his jacket pocket that contained the button back to Earth. “You could try and find a way back to Brakebills. You wouldn’t be alone there.”

“Maybe I would have done that a year ago. But right now...I have to fix this. I can’t just run away. Not this time, at least. I have to at least try.” 

“What’s changed?” 

Margo looked at him and smiled softly. “I don’t know. I think I’m growing up. I don’t want to lose Eliot. I don’t want to lose you, believe it or not. We already lost Alice and Penny. I just...if he hates me then it’s just a matter of time until you do as well. I know he says he’s alone but that means I’m alone here too. So just like you I’m going to try and fix it.” 

Quentin nodded, looking away as their food was brought out. 

Margo smiled at him. “I’m glad you’re here. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be able to leave”

“What do you mean?”

Margo started eating and shook her head. “I know he hates me right now, but I still couldn’t leave him completely alone. We still treat each other like nothing’s changed even though everything has changed. I love him but when he looks at me it’s like he’s looking at a picture, not a person. He’s my best friend and I’m not just going to abandon him. I was afraid if I left he’d throw himself off the nearest parapet. Now that you’re here? I made a mistake not pushing him to tell me more, before. I thought it was better to just ignore it all and hope things went back to normal. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.” 

Quentin ate slowly, watching Margo carefully. He’d never seen her be so honest and open before and it was unsettling. 

“Well...say something.” Margo snapped, waving dramatically in front of Quentin’s eyes. 

Quentin huffed and set his fork down. “Sorry I just...I’ve never heard you be so...well...honest.”

“Yeah, well I haven’t had anyone to be honest with in months. It was a momentary lapse. Won’t happen again.”

“I don’t mean that. It’s just...Eliot opened up earlier today, too, and--”

“Stop. I know what you mean. It’s fine. I’m a heartless bitch usually and I like being a heartless bitch. And Eliot’s a hard hearted party animal that loves that life. But the two of us are usually pretty fucking real when we’re alone. We...we used to talk about real shit together. Six months without anyone to talk to can make any flippant persona hard to keep up. I’m sure we’re both a little desperate for a friend.” 

“No matter what I’ll take good care of him. I promise.” Quentin nodded and leaned forward. “And...can I do anything for you?”

Margo’s mouth quirked into a half smile. “Just don’t give in to him immediately. Make him work for it before you take your pants off.” 

Quentin blushed and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Margo. I’m not...we’re not going to…”

“Yeah. Sure. Like there’s so much to do here other than have sex. He’s already moved through his half of the staff. He started encroaching on my half.”

“Your half?”

“Yeah, we split them up so we wouldn’t be competing. Didn’t want to fight over booty.” Margo winked. 

Quentin nodded and kept eating, looking down to hide his blush. “Well. Either way. Don’t have to worry about that.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Margo deadpanned. “So you have some grand plan?”

“I wish. I just couldn’t stay at Brakebills any longer. I was just…going completely insane. I couldn’t be alone any longer.”

Margot looked down at her plate and nodded. “Seems like that’s going around like the common cold.” 

The rest of the dinner passed in polite, but awkward small talk. Quentin and Margo caught up with what had happened in the months since they lost magic. It almost felt like those months when the two of them and Eliot had become close, spending all their free time together. They made some jokes, they laughed, but the moment they finished eating they got up to leave. 

Margo stood for a moment before walking over and hugging Quentin quickly. “Thank you.” 

Quentin stared at her. “For?”

“Being here. For him. I’m not what he needs right now. Just...don’t let me stay the bad guy, okay? I fucked up and I know I did, but Eliot has been my best friend for years now. I don’t want to lose him forever.” 

Quentin nodded. “Okay. I’ll...I’ll do my best.” 

“Thanks. Think you can find your room again?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Good. I’ll leave a note so you don’t have anything to explain. Just..I’ll see you again, yeah? When things are better?” 

“Yeah. Hopefully soon.” Quentin smiled at Margot, worrying in the back of his mind that this might be the last time he saw her. 

She nodded at him and turned on her heel, quickly disappearing down the hallway. Quentin blinked and shook his head, taking a moment to process the drama of Fillory he’d come into, before heading back for his rooms. Because of the nap he wasn’t exactly tired, but he also didn’t know how much he was allowed to wander. Technically it was his castle too, but after so many months away he felt like it was Eliot’s and he was just imposing. So Quentin went into his room to unpack the backpack he’d brought. It wasn’t anything more than his Fillory books (he replaced the first one) and a few empty notebooks, but it was all he needed. He changed into the pair of pajamas he found in one of the drawers and got into bed again, lighting the lamp and sitting down to read. Anything but try and process the literal landslide of emotional shit that had happened in the last few hours since he’d gotten to Fillory. 


	4. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loving the new season of The Magicians. Still not changing plans for this fic, lol. As always, comments and kudos make my day. As do hits. You're all precious to me.

Quentin was a third of the way through book one and starting to get tired when he heard shouting. It was close, but he couldn’t make out what was being said. He tugged his shoes on and opened his door, searching for the source of the noise. It only took him a moment to realize that it was coming from Eliot’s room and was, most markedly, not the sounds of sex. It was the sound of fear. Quentin stepped across the hall and quickly opened the door, not stopping to knock in his panic that something was wrong with Eliot. 

“Eliot!? Eliot what’s wrong!?” Quentin looked around the well lived in room, searching for an intruder. 

When the light of the hall flooded the room, Eliot sat up in bed, chest heaving as his nightmare faded away. “What? What’s? Q?”

Quentin stared at him and frowned. “Yeah, it’s me. I heard shouting and I just...I worried someone was attacking you.” 

Eliot sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “No. Just a nightmare. I’m fine. Sorry.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Quentin stayed where he was, remembering Eliot’s offer earlier that day. Maybe it hadn’t just been a joke like Quentin had assumed. Maybe it was a confession. “Do...do you want me to stay?”

Eliot looked up at him, shivering from the after effects of the nightmare, and nodded slowly. “Please?”

Quentin smiled and came fully into the room, closing the door behind him and stumbling as the room was plunged into darkness. “Shit. Why is your floor covered in so much crap?”

“Because I wasn’t expecting guests. You don’t have to stay if you’re just going to complain. It’s fine.” Eliot huffed and Quentin could hear him lying back down. 

He followed the sound and slipped into the bed, settling behind Eliot so he was close but not quite touching. “No. I know what it’s like to have nightmares. It’s easier if you don’t sleep alone.”

Eliot didn’t say anything, but shifted back so his back was pressed against Quentin’s chest. Quentin smiled and carefully draped his arm around Eliot’s waist. The bed was warm and soft and every scrap of fabric smelled like sandalwood, Eliot’s favorite scent. It was comforting and Quentin found himself falling asleep quickly, wrapped up entirely in everything that was Eliot. While they didn’t usually end with him screaming, Quentin had been plagued with nightmares since Alice became a niffin. Before that, even, but it had become worse since they’d lost magic. He didn’t have any nightmares that night. He didn’t dream at all, actually. That was something that he’d only had when sleeping next to Alice. Something that Quentin was acutely aware of when he woke up the next morning to the feeling of someone moving in bed. For a second he was sure it was Alice and that somehow, magically, everything had gone back to before all this shit happened. Then he felt Eliot pull him closer and started to remember the night before.

The last time Quentin woke up in bed with Eliot he could barely remember what had happened. That time all he knew is that there were flashes of sex and he had Eliot’s arm wrapped possessively around him. Apparently that was just how Eliot slept, as he opened his eyes slowly to find himself firmly tucked under Eliot’s chin, trapped by the taller man’s long arms. It was comfortable, though, and he didn’t feel the need to run which was a bit surprising considering how wild he’d felt the night before. Just as he was starting to appreciate how nice it felt to wake up next to someone again, someone knocked on the door. 

“Your Majesty? Time to wake up.”

It was a voice Quentin didn’t recognize but Eliot evidently did. Eliot groaned and shifted so he was half lying on top of Quentin. 

“I’m up.” Eliot sighed and opened his eyes slowly, moving off of Quentin as soon as he looked at him. “Oh. Q. Sorry. I’m a clingy sleeper.” 

“It’s fine. Did you sleep okay?” Quentin stretched and yawned. 

Eliot propped himself up on his elbow and gave Quentin a sleepy smile. “Yeah, actually. No nightmares. I...thanks.” 

“It’s no problem.” Quentin looked up at Eliot and smiled.  

Eliot looked good like this: ruffled from sleep. His curls were bushy from sleep and pointed in all directions. He had a wrinkle across his cheek from the pillow and still seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open. But they were, at least, half open and fixed on Quentin. Fixed on him with an intensity that Quentin wasn’t entirely prepared for.

He looked away quickly and slipped out of the bed. “I...I should go back to my room and shower. Apparently there’s people coming to help me get ready for today and this...I mean before yesterday...I just...I’ll go”

Eliot nodded and lay back in bed, stretching and seemingly unphased by the intensity of the moment before. “Mmm. It doesn’t really matter what you look like. Just try and not stutter and pretend to be kingly for ten minutes and you’ll do great. Really, Q, they’re used to me. They’ll love you. As for the rest of it...welcome to Fillory. The rules are different here. Apparently you can go from decent friends to snuggle buddies in an afternoon. Can’t say I’m not surprised either, but what can you do?” 

Quentin chuckled and smiled. “Well...I guess we can’t do anything.” 

Eliot smiled at him. “Go clean up. I’ll meet you in an hour for breakfast?”

“An hour. I’ll be ready.” Quentin nodded and slipped out of the room, trying to not get hung up on the events of yesterday.

He was the one that forced the issue. He made Eliot open up. Apparently he’d broken a dam and suddenly had to replace Margo as Eliot’s bff. That wasn’t an issue for this day, though. The emotional stuff could wait because the issue of the day was finally taking on some duties as a King of Fillory. He couldn’t help but grin at that thought. He was a king of Fillory. And today he finally got to act like it. After a refreshing and surprisingly invigorating bath, Quentin tugged on the underwear that Fennik had laid out for him, pleased to find what appeared to be boxer briefs alongside the Fillorian fashion. Eliot must have introduced him to Earth underwear and Quentin was glad of that. He had just sorted the buttons on the trousers when there was a knock on the door. 

“Your Majesty? It’s Kikka. I’m here to help you get ready.” 

Quentin walked over to the door and opened it, revealing a young girl with fiery red hair. “Hello. Come in, I guess. I’m Quentin.” 

She curtseyed and smiled at him. “Yes, Your Majesty. Sit, if you will, and I’ll get your hair sorted before you put your shirt on.” 

Quentin nodded and sat, Kikka immediately starting to unpack the bag she had with her as she continued to babble. “I’ve brought you some hygiene products. I was just guessing when I made them, so you’ll have to let me know what scent you’d like. But I heard you were partial to the orange sauce last night and citrus and musk is something I had on hand. I’ve got products for your underarms, lotion for any dry skin, and a lovely oil for your hair.” 

Quentin opened the pot of deodorant and sniffed. It smelled amazing. Like an orange roll, but somehow sexier. He sighed and immediately started applying it. 

Kikka smiled and watched him. “Did I guess well?”

“It’s amazing. I never knew deodorant could smell so good.” 

“With all due humility, that’s because you’re not used to what I make. Now, any qualms with me braiding your hair? It will make you look terribly nice.” She shook some of the oil into her hands and started to run her fingers through Quentin’s hair. 

Quentin watched her in the mirror and shrugged. “I...I’ve never met my subjects before so I guess I’ll trust your judgement on how to look.” 

Kikka laughed and smiled at him in the mirror. “A wish choice. King Eliot never listens to me when it comes to matters of personal style.” 

“That sounds like Eliot. I’ve never had style. I’ve never even put anything in my hair before. I thought oil would make it...oily.” 

“Not this oil. Should make hair like yours perfectly manageable and lovely every day.” She started braiding his hair, smiling as she worked. 

Quentin watched, fascinated. The oil had made his hair shiny and light, like a girl in a shampoo commercial. Kikka was putting his hair into two flat braids that started at each temple and met in the back, somehow melting into one. She checked to be sure his hair was perfectly tucked away before stepping back and nodding. 

“Finish dressing and I’ll get your crown situated.” 

Quentin nodded and stood to finish dressing. Everything was so much nicer than he was used to wearing. Somehow, without being tailored, it even fit better than his normal clothes. When it was all on, Fennik was right, the blue brought out the brown of his eyes and the gold seemed to make his hair shine gold as well. There, standing in front of the mirror, Quentin actually felt like a king of Fillory. 

Kikka nodded and picked up his crown. “Don’t you look the picture of kingliness.” 

Quentin smiled and stooped so she could set the crown on his head. It rested perfectly on the braid, staying in place on its own even though she slipped a few more pins into his hair to hold it steady. 

“There. You’re ready.” 

Quentin looked at himself in the mirror and nodded. “I...I don’t recognize myself.” 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” 

“This time? A good thing.” Quentin smiled at her. “Thank you for your help. Could...could you teach me how to braid my hair like this?” 

“It would be my pleasure. Anytime you want any help at all please call for me. I love helping, but King Eliot never lets me help.” 

“I will. You can count on that. I need all the help I can get” Quentin couldn’t look away from his reflection. 

Kikka smiled and packed her things up, leaving quietly while Quentin still admired himself. Moments after she left Eliot, stuck his head into the room. 

“Q. Hurry up. Oh holy shit.” 

Quentin turned around and smiled at Eliot. “I know, right?”

Eliot whistled and looked Quentin up and down. “My god. You never told me you clean up this nice, Q.” 

“I didn’t even know I did.” Quentin shrugged, still grinning. 

Eliot nodded and gave him an appraising look. “The braid really suits you. I like it.” 

Quentin smiled, feeling a blush creep up his neck. “Thanks. Um...breakfast?”

“Why have breakfast when I could just spread you on a cracker. I mean...yummy.” 

Quentin huffed a laugh and pushed past Eliot to leave the room. “Come on. We have to be...well fed before we deal with our subjects or else we’ll do a bad job. Or something like that.” 

Eliot smiled and stood a little taller. “Don’t impugne my ability to rule on an empty stomach. But I do want breakfast. These people will go on for hours and hours and god only knows if we will be able to get lunch.” 

Eliot grinned and started heading towards the dining hall, Quentin following close by. As they walked someone approached Eliot with a stack of notes. He took them like this was a part of his daily routine and read through the first three, stumbling over thin air as he flipped to the fourth one. After he read it he looked at Quentin. 

“Margo left.” 

Quentin nodded. It wasn’t a question, but he still felt like he needed to answer.

“Uh...yeah. She left last night after she and I had dinner together. Said she had to fix this herself. Fix everything with your kid.” 

Eliot winced and headed to the table, sitting at one of the laid places. “She didn’t have to leave over this. God. I haven’t even met the thing. I...I’m not even sure I want to.”

“Wait...really?” Quentin sat across from him and frowned, barely noticing as servants brought in food. 

“It’s like those Jerry Springer episodes where the woman wants a sperm donor to have parental responsibilities. I was only sort of there during the entire event. I was in my golem and so into finally getting to have sex with a guy again that it was worth the flashes of doing it with Fen. Then all of a sudden, I come back and she’s knocked up. I don’t want kids. I never did. And this one? It feels like I’m just the donor.” 

Quentin frowned deeper. “I...I’m sorry. Does Fen understand?”

“Maybe? In theory? I’m not exactly sure. She’s seemed so understanding so often but then...this is her child.” He sighed and started eating. 

“God. So wait...if Margo succeeds is that a good thing?” Quentin started eating as well. 

“It’s a kid, Q. It doesn’t deserve to be raised by the fairies. She should succeed. But I’ll have to deal with that issue when the time comes.” 

“Jesus. And I thought it was chaotic back on Earth.” 

“Oh, honey, no. I know your life has been a lot of man pain and strife, but here things have literally fallen apart and there’s nothing left but a tire fire that refuses to go out. That and a King who spent the last year working up enough stress and guilt for a nervous breakdown.” 

Quentin looked at his food and nodded. “I...I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”

“Do you, though?”

Quentin looked up and met Eliot’s guarded gaze. “Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t see how difficult it was for you here. I knew how hard it was for you to be stuck here, and I always wanted to help but I...I guess I was too jealous. I always wanted to be the chosen one. I thought...with my history, that I’d be the High King. I’m the one that relied on Fillory just to get through the day most days. But then...I don’t know....maybe I resented you for being chosen? Honestly I think I was just so wrapped up in my own problems that I never thought about you. And I really sorry that I didn’t. You took care of me when I came to Brakebills. You were my friend and you made sure I wasn’t alone anymore. I should have done the same for you when you needed it.” 

Eliot’s expression softened and he looked down at his plate, poking at his food. “Thank you. It was hard to not feel abandoned here sometimes. I know you didn’t want to, though. None of you did. If we’re being honest, you’ve spent more time thinking about me in the last 24 hours than anyone else has in the last year, so I really appreciate that.”

“I’m glad I’m here now. To think about you.”

“If you have to get trapped somewhere without magic, might as well get trapped with someone who actually notices when you’re falling apart.” Eliot shrugged and smiled. 

Quentin lifted his goblet of juice and smiled. “Here’s to that.” 

Eliot bumped his goblet against Quentin’s and sipped from it. “I’m acting like it was so horrible. But until the very end it was good with Margo. We almost got back to normal after the coronation.” 

“I know. It’s not going to change my opinion on her or anything. Don’t worry.” 

“God. I’m turning into you I’m worrying so much. I need to just take a note from Elsa and let it go.” Eliot sighed and stood, smoothing his jacket down and adjusting his sleeves.

Quentin rolled his eyes and stood as well. “Wow. Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome. Now, come on.” he walked around the table and offered his elbow to Quentin. 

Quentin looked at the offered arm then up at Eliot. “Really? You’re going to escort me in?”

“You’re one of their kings and they’ve seen you a grand total of zero times. The people are used to seeing me escort Margo in. I’m trying to help them deal with the change.” Eliot raised an eyebrow. 

Quentin took his elbow and smiled. 

“Besides you’re almost the same height as her.” 

Quentin sighed and pulled his hand free. “Come on. You know that’s not true.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to question your height. Even if you are short, you’re very masculine and...butch, or something.” Eliot took Quentin’s hand and tucked it into the crook of his elbow again, leading him out of the castle and towards the center of town. 

Quentin sighed and followed him. “Everyone is short compared to you.” 

“Mmm. I know. I’m like a human thoroughbred.” 

Quentin opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it. Eliot really was a human thoroughbred. He was long and lean but incredibly powerful. Every step he took was elegant and he held the attention of an entire room by simply walking into it. If there was any human that deserved the comparison, it was Eliot. 

Quentin got so caught up in his thoughts that he hardly noticed where they’d been walking. It came as almost a surprise to him when he looked up and saw the crowd gathered around, watching them closely. They were dirty and hungry, but looked at both Quentin and Eliot with awe. The sight made him want to turn and run and Eliot must have felt it as he lay his hand over Quentin’s patting it softly. 

“It’s okay. I’ll do most of the talking.” 

Quentin could only nod, swallowing and stepping slightly behind Eliot as they approached the crowd. 


	5. A Spectacular King

“Hello everyone. I have good news. We successfully got the wheat crop planted and conditions look good for it to be fruitful. Until then, the crown’s larders are still open to you. It was brought to my attention last week that not every healer knows how to work without magic and so I wanted to let you know I spoke with the centaurs and we have come to an agreement. Every healer will work with them to train. Not only that, but for a fee, which the crown will pay, they will handle any severe cases. Please, don’t let your loved ones die because magic is gone. We will take care of them. I promise. I know things are still difficult, but we’re trying. And so with that I will open the floor to you. Please come forward with any questions or concerns and I’ll do everything I can to help.” Eliot smiled at the crowd as they started talking amongst themselves, some lining up to speak to them. 

Eliot glanced at Quentin and smiled. “If you want to say anything please do. I know I’ve got more experience but I only learned by doing it. So…” 

Quentin smiled and nodded. “You’re a spectacular king.” 

“Well...you gave me the title.” Eliot winked. 

Chairs were brought out for Eliot and Quentin and as soon as they were seated, people started coming forward. They sat for well over an hour as person after person came forward with issues. Quentin wanted to have input but every time he just found himself tongue tied. His own issues suddenly seemed so small. These people were starving and dying. They were losing livestock every day. Their children were missing. They’d lost their professions when they lost magic. They were suffering. And Eliot found a way to help every single one of them. The sick and dying were sent to the centaurs. Those starving were sent to get food from the castle, full meals, not just rations. Names were added to lists to get livestock from the castle breeding stock. Even those without jobs were helped. Most of them were hired on to help with the farming operations but if that wasn’t desirable or possible they were found a suitable position. By the time they finished, every person that came that day had their needs met.

When the last person left, Eliot sank back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. “God. There was a lot of people today.”

“Yeah, but you helped them all.” 

“I have to, Q.” 

Quentin scoffed and shook his head. “No you don’t. You could ignore them or let someone else handle this. You could be a middle of the line king you just...aren’t. You’re amazing.” 

Eliot looked at him and smiled. “Yes. I am, aren’t I? But I do have to admit these weekly talk to the King meetings are self serving. As long as the people are loyal to me the fairies are kept in check.” 

“Yes. And I’m sure you never helped them with farming or their problems a day before the fairies came?” Quentin stood and offered his hands to Eliot. 

Eliot took his hands and pulled himself to his feet. “Fine. Rub it in my face that I’m kind.”

“Fine. I will. You do that every week?”

Eliot nodded and started to walk back to the castle. “Five days a week spent in the fields trying to help get this place actually making its own food. One day a week meeting with the people then meeting with my advisors. And a whole day off where I usually answer the letters the castle gets sent.” 

“Jesus. So how do I help?”

“Do it all with me? I don’t actually know, but just helping me do all this would be nice.”

Quentin nodded. “I can do that.” 

He could not do that. 

Two and a half weeks later, elbow deep in mud, Quentin started to accept that he couldn’t farm. 

“How the hell did you get down there?” Eliot came out of the building where he’d been helping to construct a grain mill to find Quentin on his hands and knees, half stuck in the dirt. 

Quentin looked up at him and shook his head. “I don’t know. One second I’m getting the dirt wet so we can till it and the next it’s mud and I’m slipping and now I can’t even seem to stand up.” 

“Jesus. You’re like the human equivalent of that old Windows paperclip. You want to help but you just fuck it up. Come here.” He held his hand out. 

Quentin tugged one hand free of the dense mud and grabbed onto Eliot, scrambling up and out of the mud. “Thanks. I think I made quicksand or something.” 

Eliot crouched and wiped his hand off on the grass. “No. You made clay mud. It’s sticky as hell.” 

“Oh...well how do I fix it?”

Eliot winced and sighed. “Yeah. Q. About that. Myself and some of the other guys were talking in there and...we were thinking that maybe you’re not built to farm.”

“What?”

“I mean...everyone has things they’re good at. I’m sure even you do. But this? Not something you’re good at.”

“So I don’t get to help anymore?”

“Help? Oh sweetie I’ve spent this week just cleaning up your messes. You’re not helping. So you gotta find something else to do.” 

Quentin’s shoulders fell and he nodded, feeling his own uselessness crashing in around his ears. “Oh. Yeah. Okay.” 

Eliot rolled his eyes and tucked the hair that had fallen out of the braid Quentin had taken to wearing behind his ear. “You and I both know you’re good with people. The medics are struggling. They need people who can do more than just perform basic first aid without any bedside manner. Someone who can calm down patients who are out of their minds with fear. Maybe tomorrow you can check them out?”

Quentin felt the grip of anxiety on his chest ease up and nodded. “As long as you’re not just trying to get rid of me.” 

“Oh no, I am trying to get rid of you. But I think it could be a good place for you to go so you’re not just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.” Eliot smiled and nodded. “No go clean up. You’re literally disgusting and I’m not eating dinner with you until you can touch things without leaving muddy handprints.”

“Fine. See you for dinner?” 

“I’ll be there.” Eliot waved and headed back into the building. 

Quentin sighed and started walking back to the castle, scraping the dense mud off his hands and arms as he walked. He was a failure at farming. If anything it was a surprise that Eliot let him hobble along this long. He’d killed any plant he was allowed near, broken two shovels, and somehow managed to make the stickiest mud in existence without even trying. Not only that but he tripped over his tongue in every meeting with officials. He regularly just told the people ‘oh that sucks’ instead of having any sort of solution for them. So far he was a colossal failure of a king. But Eliot had encouraged him at every failure. Even now Eliot was trying to find somewhere he fit in better. Eliot the spectacular. It really was fitting. It fit every aspect of Eliot. 

The man was like a living advertisement for the kind of life Quentin wished he had. Eliot’s hair always looked perfect. His clothes always fit just right. His ass always seemed so eye catching and alluring, even when covered by a jacket. Even his speech felt like a drink meant to get Quentin buzzed just listening to him talk. With all the tailored clothes and professional help he had with his appearance as a king, Quentin still felt a pang of envy every time Eliot walked into the room. 

Well. Maybe envy. Sometimes it felt like something more.

After the first night Eliot’s nightmares had continued. After a few nights of waking up to the sound of Eliot shouting, Quentin just cut out the pretense and started heading into Eliot’s room when it was time to sleep. Eliot never commented on the change, just made room in bed and dozed off. Some mornings it was like waking up with an overheated blanket tangled around his body and Quentin could barely get out of bed fast enough. Other mornings, though, it was like waking up as a teenager again.

That morning, for example, he woke up with Eliot spooning him. They were a mess of legs and sheets, but something about the feeling of Eliot breathing on his neck and the weight of Eliot’s arm over his chest had set Quentin’s blood pumping. It wasn’t the first morning he’d had to rub one out during his shower. At first he’d just chalked it up to not sleeping alone and not having sex. Without sex or masturbation, he was waking up horny because he wasn’t meeting his own sexual needs. But when he started taking care of himself from time to time before going to bed, it became apparent that he was still waking up hard more often than not. Which meant that it was likely the person sleeping next to him that was the cause. 

And, of course, Eliot was pretty. God was he pretty. But Quentin had always wanted to be more like him and not be with him. Right? Maybe not, though. Maybe it was more complicated than that. Quentin had identified as bisexual since he was a teenager and had happily dated both men and women in the past. But when he was with men he always tended to struggle with the fact that he couldn’t stop comparing himself to them. He always came up wanting, and that wasn’t a turn on. But Eliot...he wasn’t even sure he’d been attracted to Eliot at first. Yes, Eliot was always gorgeous, but that was a point in fact. Not attraction. They had slept together that one time. But Quentin hardly even remembered it. Really he’d gotten drunk and slept with Margo. Eliot had just happened to be there. Even if it seemed like Eliot was always the one Alice had focused on when recalling the incident.  

Back in his room and freshly cleaned, Quentin sat on his bed and sighed. He wanted to fuck Eliot again. Because just pretending it wasn’t happening wasn’t exactly working. If anything it was getting worse. He was distracted and it wasn’t terribly pleasant. Not only that, but Eliot had been the only one that seemed to handle their tryst well. Like he accepted it as casual sex and nothing more. God knew Alice was out of the picture now. So why not? Why not ask for sex? It was completely out of his character, but he really wanted it. And today sucked. He sucked at everything he did and getting laid would really help him feel better. Of course, if they were stuck in Fillory together it wouldn’t be good to fuck up their friendship. But at the rate Quentin was going it was going to be ruined when Eliot woke up with Quentin’s boner in his back so…. What real harm could he do just asking?

He oiled his hair and put lotion on his face before pulling his hair back into a neat knot and dressing his the tailored blue shirt he looked best in. Looking at himself in the mirror he felt half confident in his plan to seduce his, currently, only friend. No way this could backfire. Totally not the dumbest thing he’d ever decided to do. And really, for sure, not his self-destructive impulses rearing their ugly head again. Totally not.

Quentin headed down to the dining room, smiling when he saw Eliot there already, frowning and reading a letter. The wrinkle it formed between his eyebrows was very becoming. 

“Wow. I didn’t know you could read.” Quentin sat across from him and raised an eyebrow. 

Eliot looked up at him over the letter and rolled his eyes. “You’re trying to be snarky with me? Oh honey. I will always win.” 

Quentin laughed and shrugged. “Can’t blame a man for trying.” 

“Mmm. Suppose not. You get all the mud off?” 

“Yes. I don’t even know how I ended up stuck.” He sighed and felt his cheeks heat with a blush. 

Eliot shrugged. “We didn’t realize how much clay was in the soil until it got wet. That area isn’t going to be good for farming in. Honestly, anyone who isn’t terribly well versed in dirt would have made the same mistake. Don’t feel bad about it.” 

“I...thanks.” Quentin smiled softly. 

When Eliot went back to reading the letter, Quentin started fidgeting with his silverware. He was feeling oddly nervous and was just about to talk himself out of the idea in the first place when Eliot interrupted his anxiety spiral. 

“Something on your mind, Q?”

Quentin jumped a little and looked up at him. “I think we should have sex.” 

Eliot set the letter down and raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” 

Quentin swallowed as his heart rate spiked. He hadn’t meant to say that. Not really. But it had just tumbled out. Yup. Self-destructing and ruining the one friendship he had right now. No taking it back now, though. Nowhere to go but forward. 

“I...yeah. I do.” Quentin nodded. 

“Okay. Can I know why you’re saying this?” Eliot folded his hands on the table, moving slowly as if Quentin was a wild animal. 

Quentin sighed and shook his head. “It’s stupid. I just...I wanna have sex. And you’re...really hot. And it wasn’t a big deal before when we had sex. Well...it was but you didn’t make it a big deal. I know we were both pretty fucked up then but...I don’t know it’s dumb. Sorry just pretend I didn’t say anything. Today sucked so much. The last weeks have sucked, really and I’m scared and I think I’m trying to fuck up the one good thing in my life. So just ignore me.” 

“No. I’m not going to ignore you. I...listen I’m not going to lie I’ve slept with a few people here but it’s also been a while. And I...I really appreciate you staying with me at night. It’s helping more than I can say. But having someone else in the bed that I’m not having sex with is really tripping my body up. So...yeah. I’m in. Nothing to ruin. I love casual sex.” Eliot shrugged and smiled. 

Quentin blinked, pausing while their dinner was brought in. Once everyone left again, he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. 

“Okay then. So...we’re doing this?”

“God you’re always so dramatic. Yes. You’re single. I’m not slowly killing myself with drugs and booze because of a broken heart. We’re not wasted on emotions. Why not try again?” 

“That’s fair. And at least this time I can be...less shitty in bed.” Quentin shook his head and started eating. That had gone better than he’d hoped. His attempts at self-destruction failed thanks to Eliot’s sex drive. Thank god for that. For a second, Quentin had thought he’d ruined everything. Again. For what felt like the first time in his life, Quentin’s running his mouth without thinking hadn’t ended in tears. And he felt tentatively confident. 

“I don’t even remember it so I can’t speak to that.” Eliot started eating as well. 

“It was a lot of messy kissing and a lackluster blowjob. Really not my best work.” 

Eliot raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Oh? You have best work when it comes to giving head?”

“Come on, El. Did you really think you were the first guy to sleep with me?”

Eliot held his hand over his heart and sighed dramatically. “Oh my god. You’re telling me you’re queer and never asked me for sex before now?”

Quentin laughed and smiled. “Yes. I’m telling you I’m bisexual and I chose to date Alice instead of signing up for a night on your weekly rotation.” 

“I’m really hurt, Q. You would have gotten your pick of days.” 

“Call me crazy but my pick of days wasn’t exactly what I needed at the time.” 

Eliot glanced up at him and nodded. “On that note. What are you looking for this time?”

“I...I don’t know. You’re my only friend here. I don’t wanna lose that. And after Alice…,” he took a slow breath, “after Alice I don’t think I can do something emotional. Not right now. Besides I...I don’t actually have those feelings...for you. Sorry...”  

“You don’t have to in order to have sex. For god’s sake, Q, I’m still...I’m still getting over Mike most days. Having you in my life, having a friend I feel like I can talk to is...god it’s so helpful. I don’t want to lose that either. But, from experience, if we both go into this knowing what we’re doing it doesn’t have to fall apart. No one can get their feelings hurt if it’s just sex between friends. Which is all this is. No feelings. Just sex.” 

Quentin smiled and nodded. “That...god that sounds perfect. And you’re up for that?”

Eliot rolled his eyes again and leaned back in his chair. “Yes, Quentin, I am. How many times do I have to say it? You’re one of my closest friends and I’m really tired of just random one night things here and there. Not only that but you’re kinda hot in a weird, awkward way.”

“Weird, awkward way? Thanks, Eliot. That really helps my self confidence.” 

“Well you’re doing better now. But your usual wardrobe of baggy sweaters and stringy hair isn’t exactly worthy of the cover of GQ. Thankfully you’re sweet enough to make up for it.” 

Quentin blushed and finished his food. “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.” 

Eliot shrugged and finished his food as well, draining his glass of wine. “It’s a compliment. It takes a lot of sweetness to make up for bad hair.” 

“Come on. Do I really have bad hair?”

Eliot stood and shrugged. “Not anymore. It looks really good pulled back. Better than it would short, I think.” 

He offered his hand to Quentin and smiled. “Come on. Sex time.” 

Quentin’s stomach dropped to the floor as he stood and took Eliot’s hand. “I...oh...okay. Now?” 

“We don’t have to. You’re the one that suggested it.” Eliot said, leading Quentin to his room nonetheless. 

Quentin followed him into his room and shook his head, hovering near the door. “No. No I do I just...I don’t know I’ve never had casual sex be this simple and straightforward before.” 

“Yeah. Well welcome to sex with me. No strings. Just fun.” he winked and turned to face Quentin. 

Quentin smiled and nodded, body tense. “So...sex?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, I know it's a little bit out of character for Quentin to ask for sex. But he's on the ragged edge and when people with mental health issues reach that point they can sometimes at out of character as they desperately hope to find something that makes their life better. That's what I saw Quentin doing in this chapter. Except instead of his wild desperation coming back to bite him in the ass, it leads to someone else biting his ass. Maybe. We will see.


	6. I Needed That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FORGOT TO UPDATE LAST WEEK I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY CRAP!!! Life was really hectic and I just totally forgot. UUUGH. 
> 
> If it helps, this is the chapter in which the fic earns its rating for the first time. So...enjoy.

Eliot sighed and walked over to Quentin, cupping Quentin’s cheek and smiling at him. “It’s cute that you’ve literally ever had sex before. Was it all pity fucks?”

Quentin rolled his eyes and gently shoved Eliot. “Come on. I know I’m not smooth but I’m not completely hopeless.” 

“That’s true. You’re not. You asked me for casual sex over dinner tonight. That’s not hopeless.” Eliot smiled and let his hand slide from Quentin’s cheek to unbutton the top button of Quentin’s shirt. 

Quentin smiled. “I...uh...I didn’t actually mean to. I was just about to wuss out but then I just ended up blurting it out. God, maybe I am hopeless.” 

Eliot rolled his eyes, unbuttoning the second button of Quentin’s shirt. “My god, Q. At least pretend to have an ounce of sexiness in your body. Really. Like I know I’m kind of desperate, but at least make it seem worth it.” 

Quentin blushed and looked away, starting to actually feel embarrassed. “Sorry. I know I’m not...great or anything. Not exactly a first choice for...anyone.” 

“No, no, no, no, no. No pity party. Come on Q.” Eliot held Quentin’s face in his hands and looked him in the eye, rubbing his thumb across Quentin’s cheek. “I’m going to have sex with you. That’s an honor and raises your sexiness like...fifty fold. Now don’t ruin the moment because I’m weirdly still into you right now. Even with the whining.” 

Quentin took a slow breath and let himself get lost in Eliot’s gaze. Eliot was being dry and biting as always, but in his eyes Quentin saw a deep sincerity. Eliot actually wanted this and actually wanted him. The silence was stretching on too long. He needed to say something. Or…

Quentin surged forward to kiss Eliot, opting for a actions over words. It was entirely different than he remembered. Before it had been messy and desperate: all tongues, teeth, and five o’clock shadow. This was so much more...intimate.  Eliot pushed Quentin back against the door, tilting his head and sliding his tongue into Quentin’s mouth the moment Quentin parted his lips to match Eliot’s kiss. There was nothing messy about this kiss. Eliot’s tongue was hot and wet against Quentin’s and carried with it that foreign flavor of another person’s saliva. His mouth was firm and needy against Quentin’s, pulling him forward even as Eliot pushed him firmly against the door. Even Eliot’s face was softer, just the barest hint of stubble even though it was late, courtesy of a Fillorian straight razor shave. Eliot moved slowly, taking his time as he moved both hands to Quentin’s neck, tilting Quentin’s head back to get his mouth at just the right angle to continue his gentle ministrations of Quentin’s lips and tongue. He’d made the first move but he was by no means in control. It wasn’t just the height difference, either. Eliot was laying claim to Quentin’s mouth and it was making Quentin feel absolutely desperate. It was taking all his strength just to kiss Eliot back, to try and keep up with the pace. Quentin let out a needy whine even as his lungs started to burn, burying his fingers in Eliot’s hair and pulling him closer. 

Eliot grinned wide enough to break the kiss, taking the opportunity to kiss Quentin’s neck and catch his breath rather than pull away completely. “Much better. You’re much sexier if you’re not feeling sorry for yourself and tripping all over your words.” 

Quentin whimpered again and closed his eyes, hands dropping to Eliot’s waist. “H--holy fuck you’re good at kissing.” 

“Well I happen to really love it. So I’ve made a little bit of a study of it in the time I’ve spent sleeping around.” Eliot bent his knees a little and angled Quentin’s head to get a better angle at Quentin’s throat. 

“I’m  _ so _ happy to benefit from your knowledge. Oh...oh god that’s good.” He wiggled as Eliot started kissing under his ear, tightening his grip on Eliot’s hips as he bit his lip, fighting down a moan. 

Eliot smiled and slipped one hand under Quentin’s shirt, using the other hand to continue to move Quentin’s head into just the right place while he continued down Quentin’s neck. “Are you always this vocal?”

“Yes. I...I can try and be quieter, though. Sorry.”Quentin shivered and fumbled a little as he let go of Eliot’s hips and started working on his shirt buttons. 

“Oh no, no. Don’t you dare. I like it. Let’s me know exactly what you like.” Eliot stood upright again and put a little space between them as started working in earnest on Quentin’s buttons. 

Quentin struggled to focus on Eliot’s buttons, finding himself distracted by the sight of Eliot’s red, kiss swollen lips. He couldn’t help but grin at the surge of adrenaline as he realized this was actually going to happen. Eliot caught his gaze and smiled as well, glancing at Quentin’s mouth and licking his lips before refocusing on the fiddly buttons of their Fillorian shirts. 

“There’s too many buttons on this thing. I can’t focus on them when you’re sitting there looking like that.” Eliot shook his head, smiling as he pointedly looked just at the buttons of Quentin’s shirt. 

Quentin laughed and felt his cheeks heat with a blush. “What do I look like?”

Eliot hummed and stilled his hands, letting his gaze wander over Quentin’s face. “Painfully turned on. Well kissed. And so goddamn happy about it all.” 

“Well,” Quentin finished the buttons on Eliot’s shirt and shoved it off his shoulders, looking up at Eliot’s face again and smiling, “what can I say? I’m painfully turned on, well kissed, and really, really goddamn happy about it.” 

“Cheeky bitch.” Eliot dipped his head to kiss Quentin again, the last buttons on Quentin’s shirt still done. 

Those buttons on Quentin’s shirt took what felt like ages to come undone, even with the two of them working on them. Neither could find the focus to stop kissing for long enough to actually look at them, and so it took two sets of hands blindly tugging at the buttons for a full minute before they finally came undone and Eliot was able to tug Quentin’s shirt off. The moment his skin was exposed, Eliot wrapped his arms tightly around Quentin’s waist, tugging him backwards towards the bed. 

As they walked, Quentin stumbled over his discarded shirt and laughed. “Hold on. I can’t walk like that without risking my neck.” 

“Can’t have that. I like your neck.” Eliot raised an eyebrow and leaned down to kiss the other side of Quentin’s neck. 

“Eliot. Eliot...ahh. Give me two seconds just get to the bed. Please.” Quentin whimpered again, not having the strength to actually pull away. 

Eliot grumbled and stopped kissing Quentin. “Fine. But get those pants off. I’m not sure I can actually sort out shoes and pants while kissing you.”

Quentin grinned and started undoing his pants. “Agreed. And no one wants to get injured during sex.”

“No. But it wouldn’t be the first time for me.” Eliot smiled and kicked his shoes off before wiggling out of his pants. 

Quentin paused once he was in his underwear and looked at Eliot, blushing again. “Uh...underwear off? Or…” 

Eliot sat on the bed and took his time slowly looking first up then down Quentin’s body. “Mmm. No. I want to take those off myself.” 

Quentin’s eyes went wide and he let out a strangled squeak, nodding and kicking aside their two sets of clothes. “Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.”

Eliot laughed and set his crown on the bedside table before tugging his own underwear off and moving to lie in the middle of the bed.“Now, come here. I won’t bite unless you say I can.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes and took his hair down before sliding into the bed next to him, doing his best to look Eliot in the eye instead of focusing on the fact that Eliot was there, naked, and very hard.. “I would actually be okay with biting, for the record.” 

“Oh?” Eliot rolled onto his side and smoothed his hand up and down Quentin’s arm. “ So would I. Not anywhere delicate, of course. But I do like a bit of a nip here and there. We should actually probably discuss this before going any further. Anything else on the list of do vs don’t do?” 

Quentin smiled and propped himself up on his elbow, resting his head in his hand. “Um. No spanking. No...insulting. I just can’t take that. Yes to biting. Yes to hair pulling. I...I guess those are my only main things. You?”

Eliot smiled and kissed Quentin’s shoulder, sliding his hand around Quentin’s waist to trace up and down his spine. “Mmm me? Not a big fan of bondage, though with a little trust I could reconsider. I’m okay with spanking if the moment is right. Hair pulling, biting, rough sex. All good. Love it when my partner is noisy. I’m usually happier being in charge but I can be convinced to be bossed around now and then. I don’t know what else. I mean essentially if you can dream it I’ve done it and the only thing I didn’t like was being choked, gagged, blindfolded, and peed on. Otherwise, I’m game.”

“Jesus. That’s...I can agree to not do those things. Easily. I’m pretty sure you’d call all the sex I’ve ever had very, very vanilla.” 

“Speaking of, what about sex types? Oral, digital, intercrural? Are you okay with anal?” 

“Yes to all. I’ve done anal both ways. It’s been a few years but I know I really, really enjoyed it.” Quentin smiled and reached out to hold Eliot’s hip, smoothing his thumb across the smooth skin there. 

Eliot wiggled his eyebrows at Quentin. “Oooh. Good to know. You okay with being on the bottom? I don’t hate it but if you thought you liked my kissing, just wait till you see what I can do when I top.” 

“Oh?” Quentin’s voice broke and his heart rate surged as he considered the implication. 

Eliot smiled and nudged at Quentin’s shoulder, trying to urge him onto his back. “Oh yes. Want to see?”

“No. I mean...I mean not tonight. Tonight I want to make up for the lackluster blow job last time.” Quentin grinned and pushed Eliot onto his back. 

Eliot raised one eyebrow but rolled onto his back. “Oh? You going to blow my mind, so to speak?” 

Quentin rolled his eyes and kissed Eliot’s neck. “My god that was cheesy. You’re lucky I’m not heading for the door after that. Lucky for you, I’ve got a point to prove to myself. Speaking of, do I have permission to touch the High King?”

“You’re a king too, Q.” Eliot rolled his eyes and kissed Quentin softly, speaking against his mouth,” But you always have permission to touch me...your majesty.” 

Quentin shivered and looked at Eliot. “Okay...I liked that more than I expected.” 

“Oh yes? Well think about this: you, a king of Fillory, are about to suck off the High King of Fillory, while in Fillory.” 

Quentin groaned and kissed Eliot slowly. “Christ, El.” 

“God you’re such a nerd.” Eliot chuckled. 

“Hey. I said no names.” Quentin frowned, not actually feeling upset as he moved to kiss one of Eliot’s nipples, taking the time to lip and nip at the pink nub.  

Eliot arched into Quentin’s mouth, grunting softly as he tangled his fingers in Quentin’s long hair. “Ahh. Not a name. I like that you’re a nerd. Like it a lot. Ohhh god, Q.”

“Yeah? Well you’re an ass hole, then.” Quentin moved to Eliot’s stomach, biting his hip hard enough to bruise before running his tongue over the red skin. 

Eliot sighed and bit his lip as he started breathing heavier, watching Quentin’s journey further down his body. “You like that I’m an ass hole.” 

“I do. It’s part of your charm.” Quentin settled between Eliot’s knees, draping Eliot’s legs over his shoulders and resting his hands on Eliot’s hips “Any preferences? I can do anything you want.”

“Anything that involves your mouth on my dick.” Eliot looked down at Quentin and smiled. 

“Yes sir. And...feel free to move. I can take it.” Quentin smiled and took Eliot into his mouth. 

He smiled as he felt the soft skin of Eliot’s dick against his tongue. All sex was wonderful, but Quentin had always taken pleasure in sucking a dick. It was so easy to drive his partner wild doing it and hearing the pants and moans of the man underneath him really bolstered Quentin’s ego. The last time he hadn’t given Eliot his best work. So this time he put his full focus into what he was doing, losing his own erection as he focused solely on Eliot’s pleasure. Eliot wasn’t terribly vocal at first, groaning and sighing here and there, tugging Quentin’s hair when he was really enjoying himself. Or so Quentin assumed. Eliot was tugging his hair a lot and it only egged him on. And the faster Quentin flicked his tongue against Eliot’s cock, the tighter the suction of his mouth, and the deeper he took Eliot into his throat, the louder Eliot got. It had been a little while since he’d last slept with a man, but Quentin was pleased to discover he could still suppress his gag reflex enough to cause Eliot to let out a ragged moan, voice breaking as hips hips lifted up off the bed, thrusting deeper into Quentin’s mouth. 

“Q...Q I’m gonna come.” Eliot spoke for the first time since Quentin had started blowing him, voice desperate and loud. 

Quentin moaned around Eliot, digging his fingers into Eliot’s hips as he swallowed around Eliot, bringing to orgasm with an echoing moan, toes curling into the bed as he came down Quentin’s throat. Quentin swallowed, looking up and watching the ecstasy of an orgasm wash over Eliot’s face, highlighting the tendons in his neck and blush of his cheeks as Eliot tensed and moaned through his climax. Once Eliot’s dick stopped pulsing, Quentin pulled back, letting it fall out of his mouth so he could start kissing Eliot’s hips and stomach. 

“Oh. Oh. Oh fuck. Oh god. Oh my god I didn’t know you could do that.” Eliot was absentmindedly petting Quentin’s hair as he lay on the bed, boneless and catching his breath. 

Quentin smiled and shifted to kiss Eliot’s thigh. “I wasn’t sure I still could. Glad to know I can still deep throat with the best of them.” 

“Uh huh. Really...yeah” Eliot shivered and opened his eyes, looking down at Quentin with the expression of a drunk man.  

Quentin smiled at him and rested his chin on Eliot’s hip bone. “I must say I’m feeling a little proud right now.” 

“You should be. My god. I’ve had...a  _ lot _ of head in my day. That is...top five at minimum. May be higher. But I’m not sure I can actually remember my own name right now.” Eliot tugged weakly on Quentin’s arm. 

Quentin moved up to lay next to him, kissing Eliot’s shoulder. “You need me to rinse my mouth out before I kiss you?”

“Shh.” Eliot buried his fingers in Quentin’s hair and kissed him slowly. “Stop worrying. Don’t ruin the moment.” 

“I’m not worrying. I’m just wanting to be sure you’re happy.” Quentin sighed and leaned in to keep kissing Eliot. 

Eliot kissed Quentin lazily, moving slowly as he came down from his climax. It didn’t take long for Eliot to catch his breath, though, and start kissing Quentin in earnest again. He pulled back a little and smiled, rolling Quentin onto his back. 

“My turn.” 

Quentin shivered as Eliot’s words took his cock from interested to as hard as he’d ever been. “Oh god.”

Eliot chuckled and lay on top of Quentin, licking into his mouth as he kissed him again. He moved to kiss Quentin’s neck, earning a soft moan from Quentin. 

“I know I said I’m good at fucking, and I am. But I’m no slouch at head either. That being said, let me know what you want and what feels good. And don’t worry about gagging me.” Eliot smiled and kept kissing and biting at Quentin’s neck until he was sure he’d left a mark. 

Quentin moaned embarrassingly loud and wiggled under Eliot, dragging his short nails down Eliot’s back. “Oh god El. Oh..that feels good. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to survive if you suck my dick like you kiss. I can barely take this.” 

“Does it help or hurt if I tell you to fuck my face?” He winked before moving to kiss Quentin’s stomach as he tugged his underwear down. 

Quentin moaned and lifted his hips a little to help Eliot. “Oh my god. I...I don’t actually know.”

Eliot smiled and licked his lips as he looked at Quentin’s erection. “Well then why don’t we say this? Moan if it feels good. Scream if it feels great. And don’t worry about warning me when you’re going to finish because I really doubt you’ll be able to speak.” 

“Jesus Christ, Eliot, I--oh!” Quentin moaned loudly as he suddenly felt Eliot’s mouth around him. 

It didn’t take Quentin more than two seconds to realize that Eliot was right. He was very, very good at this. Quentin wasn’t sure exactly what Eliot was doing, but he was well aware that his throat was starting to hurt because he was moaning so loud. He couldn’t even look down at Eliot, feeling himself suddenly on the edge of orgasm the one time he did. So Quentin closed his eyes and tried to take slow breaths as it felt like he had Eliot’s lips, tongue, and throat all tugging and stimulating him at the same time. He couldn’t even stay still. Quentin dug his heels into the bed, hips lifting up even as he held Eliot’s hair tight, pulling him closer and trying to not thrust too hard. Quentin was normally talkative during sex, but he wasn’t even able to process words enough to warn Eliot that he was close to orgasm. All he could do was frantically chant, “Eliot. Eliot. Eliot.” as his legs started to shake. It was his mantra as his focus tightened into a singularity: the feeling of Eliot’s mouth on his cock as he came.  When his orgasm finished, Quentin collapsed back onto the bed, voice breaking as he moaned again, legs still shaking a little bit. 

Eliot sat up and wiped his mouth, admiring Quentin laying on the bed, wasted. “Told you so. Now  _ I _ feel proud.”

Quentin whimpered and weakly grabbed at Eliot’s hand. Eliot chuckled and lay back on the bed next to Quentin. Quentin kiss him softly, enjoying the fact that he could taste his own semen on Eliot’s tongue. He pulled away and kept working to catch his breath, closing his eyes and smiling happily as he rolled onto his side, tugging at Eliot’s arm until Eliot was pressed firmly against his back and spooning him. 

“I take it you like to cuddle after.” Eliot wrapped his arm around Quentin’s waist, holding him close.

“Yeah.” Quentin’s voice was ragged and hoarse.

Eliot grinned and kissed Quentin’s shoulder. “Me too.” 

Quentin cleared his throat before lacing his fingers with Eliot’s, holding Eliot’s hand to his chest. “Good. Glad I’m not being selfish.” 

Eliot chuckled softly, breath ruffling Quentin’s hair. “You shouted yourself hoarse.” 

“Yeah well you kinda blew my mind.” Quentin chuckled. “I’m normally much more talkative during sex but I think I forgot English for a little bit, there.” 

“Mmm. Same, actually. I’m usually one for talking, joking, laughing. But I...wow I could barely breathe let alone talk.” 

Quentin hummed and nodded. “Well maybe we can talk more next time. It’s been a while for both of us.” 

Eliot smiled and kissed the back of Quentin’s neck. “Yeah. Maybe next time. I...I really needed that. And I think I needed that with someone I trust as much as I trust you.” 

Quentin smiled and rolled over to face Eliot, holding his waist and giving him a lingering kiss. “Mmmhmm. Same.  I...shit. I’ll have words in the morning. I’m sorry, right now I can’t think enough to actually say what I want. Think you sucked my brains out. But...yeah. I needed that. With you.” 

“Well I’m just glad I finally found a way to shut you up. Totally not going to abuse this knowledge.” Eliot tugged the blankets up over them and smiled, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Quentin’s. 

“Mmm. Course not.” Quentin smiled and tangled his legs with Eliot’s, holding him close and yawning softly. “Thanks for sex, by the way.” 

“You too, Q.” 


	7. King Q

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just friends having sex. Totally. NOTHING ELSE WILL EVER HAPPEN AND THEY'D NEVER END UP FALLING IN LOVE OF COURSE NOT. 
> 
> Due to out of town guests and a little life chaos I am not going to update next week. I still have the next few chapters written so I should be able to get back on schedule after that. But. No update next week.

When Quentin woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was a definite lack of a hard on. The second thing he noticed was that he didn’t feel even the least bit smothered or uncomfortable with how cuddly Eliot was in his sleep. He just felt...happy. Really, really happy. Like, the happiest he’d been in a really long time. During the night Quentin had rolled onto his back, but Eliot had followed him, sleeping with his head on Quentin’s chest, his arm and leg draped across Quentin’s stomach and thighs respectively. Quentin rubbed his eyes with his free hand, holding Eliot closer with the arm Eliot had settled under. 

With his eyes clear he could see Eliot better and the sight was breathtaking. Eliot was still deeply asleep, breath skirting across Quentin’s chest and slightly ruffling two errant curls of Eliot’s normally perfectly coiffed hair that had fallen across his face. Quentin carefully moved them out of the way before smoothing his knuckles down Eliot’s cheek. He slowly rubbed Eliot’s arm as he fought down the desire to kiss him. It wasn’t fair to wake Eliot up, but Quentin’s self control failed him as he pressed a kiss to Eliot’s forehead. Eliot sighed softly and opened his eyes slowly, smiling when he saw Quentin. 

“Mmm. Is it time to get up?” Eliot’s voice was gravely with sleep. 

Quentin grinned and ran his fingers through Eliot’s hair to push it out of his face, tightening his grip on Eliot with the other arm. “I don’t know, honestly. I just couldn’t help myself. You looked to good to resist.” 

Eliot turned his face into Quentin’s shoulder and groaned. “Mmmm. I’m not sure how that happened. I’m a mess in the mornings.” 

“I disagree. You look beautiful.” Quentin gently lifted Eliot’s chin so he could brush a kiss across Eliot’s mouth. It should be weird to kiss him the next morning. He should be panicking after they’d had sex again, effectively changing their friendship. But he wasn’t. After all, this was Eliot. Eliot who had casual sex like other people have fast food. Fun, quick, no big deal. Apparently the attitude rubbed on on Quentin sometime the night before.

“Mmmm. Beautiful? Not ethereal? Stunning? Godlike? I must be getting old.” Eliot stretched and sat up. 

Quentin chuckled and ran his fingers through his own hair, smoothing it self consciously before settling deeper into the pillows. “Must be because I’m still waking up and have a shitty vocabulary. That or it’s just proof that wanting is better than having. The spell has worn off in the cold light of day.” 

Eliot shook his head and laughed softly as he rubbed his eyes. “Hey, now. I’m the clever one in this friendship. You’re the awkward one who asks for sex.” 

“Yeah. And you’re  _ soooo _ upset that I asked for sex. I can tell.” Quentin teased as he sat up and grabbed his underwear off the floor, tugging it on before standing up. 

Eliot stood, not bothering with any clothes, and started picking up their discarded clothes from the night before. “Oh yes. Entirely pissed off that I get to have casual sex with one of my closest friends.”

“Speaking of. How...how regular a thing is this going to be?” Quentin took his pants from Eliot and put them on, sitting on the bed again as he put his shoes back on. 

Eliot shrugged, finally putting some underwear on. “I don’t know. How often do you like to have sex, usually?”

“I mean...as often as possible?” Quentin huffed a laugh and looked around the room, the magic spell of confidence he’d had upon waking up now starting to wear off and leave him his normal, miserable self. 

Eliot took a slow breath and turned his back to Quentin to fold his clothes and put them away. “You already sleep here pretty much every night. So...whenever we want? I mean you’re my closest friend at this point, Q. And last night was...I mean it’s been a long time since I felt so happy after sex instead of just...I don’t know...depressed and dirty.  But not the good dirty. So...I’ll respect you on this but I know that personally I could really use a regular hook up.” 

Quentin watched Eliot’s back and smiled sadly. Nothing had been the same for any of them the past year. “Okay. That sounds good to me. As long as you’re okay with it and it’s just...between friends. Yeah.” 

Eliot turned and tossed Quentin’s shirt at his face. “You kidding me? I found a way to shut you up. I’m not going to let go of that any time soon.” 

Quentin laughed. “Ass hole. I’m going to go clean up.”

“Okay. Just don’t forget that you like that I’m an ass hole.” Eliot called as Quentin left the room, crossing the hall to his own. 

With the addition of sex to their relationship there was even less reason for him to have his own rooms. But as Quentin closed the door and had a moment alone to process, it was nice. It was nice to have his own space that he could go to when he needed to be alone. Even if just to hide from Eliot how happy he was after breaking sexual his dry spell. As he bathed, dressed, and got ready for his first day working with the medics, Quentin couldn’t stop smiling. He felt like the cat that got the cream. Even when he and Alice had started sleeping together he hadn’t felt like this. It was always so damn complicated. He kept feeling like he was an annoyance to her. It wasn’t until they’d been together for a while that he felt so happy. Quentin was practically skipping when he came into the dining hall for breakfast. Eliot looked up from his plate and laughed. 

“You know your face will get stuck that way if you keep smiling that big.” Eliot’s mouth curled into a half smile. 

Quentin laughed and sat across from him. “Yeah, well at sue me. It’s been...a really long time.” 

Eliot shrugged and sipped his coffee. “I would but the ego boost of you being so happy is kind of doing it for me. So I won’t.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes and started eating. “So I start with the centaurs today?”

“Yup. I’ve arranged for one of them to meet you and walk you through what you’ll be doing.” 

“Thank you. I appreciate it. I really, really wasn’t any good at farming.” 

Eliot laughed and finished his breakfast. “God you really weren’t. We spent the last two weeks just fixing your mistakes.”

“Jesus. You really should have kicked me off the farm earlier.” Quentin shook his head. 

“Eh. But that would have meant having to watch you have that kicked puppy look and I just didn’t want to deal with that.” 

“I have a kicked puppy look?” Quentin raised one eyebrow. 

Eliot laughed and nodded. “Oh my god. Do you ever. I mean, you kind of always look like that? But when you’re sad it goes to 11.” 

“Well. I need to sort out how do that on command so I can get what I want more often.” Quentin winked. 

Eliot rolled his eyes and stood. “And with that I need to leave before I puke my breakfast up from your sad attempts at being clever. I’ll see you for dinner. Try not to piss the entire kingdom off. I really don’t want to have to exile you.” 

Eliot patted Quentin’s shoulder as he headed off to the farm for the day. Quentin smiled and finished his breakfast before heading out as well. It still felt odd walking around without Eliot. When they were together he could assume the nods and bows were for Eliot, but alone he was forced to realize that they were for him. 

Thankfully it was a short walk through the medical tents and centaurs weren’t beholden to the Fillorian rulers so he only received a few cursory nods. Just as Quentin was starting to think he was lost, a tall centaur named Willow greeted him. Willow walked him through what they were doing in the makeshift hospital and laid out exactly what his duties would be as he gave Quentin a short tour. He was to change bandages, bring food and water, and comfort anyone that needed it. More than anything, though, he was supposed to stay out of the way and boost patient morale. As they walked into the supply tent, a short nurse dropped the cup of water she was carrying and gasped before dropping into a deep curtsy. 

“Your majesty. What in Fillory are you doing here?”

“Oh I...rise. I mean...please stand up.” Quentin stepped closer and stooped to touch her shoulder. “I’m just here to help.” 

She stood up and looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re going to help us? Here?”

Quentin smiled and nodded. “Yes. I tried to help with the farming but I’m no good at it.  I want to help the country rebuild, though, so I’m going to try and help here. Boost morale.” 

“Oh...your majesty that is such an amazing idea. The patients are going to love it.” She smiled wide at him. 

Quentin chuckled nervously and nodded. “Good. But...it’s Quentin. Really. If I’m going to be working here with you I can’t be ‘your majesty’ all the time.” 

She got pale and stepped closer, dropping her voice. “With all due respect, that’s...illegal. I can call you King Quentin, though.” 

“How about King Q? That’s at least a little more casual.” 

She considered it for a moment before nodding and curtseying again. “It will be my pleasure to work alongside you, King Q. I’m Reddah.” 

“Reddah. It’s lovely to meet you. What do you do here?” 

She bent and picked up the cup she dropped. “I’m the head Fillorian healer. I used to be an amazing healing magician before...well, you know. But now I’m learning everything I can from the centaurs and trying to make myself useful again.” 

Quentin smiled and looked around, noticing that his centaur companion had disappeared. “Well you’re doing well on that front. Okay. I’m supposed to boost morale, bring people food and water, and change bandages since I know just a little bit of basic first aid, but Willow has now disappeared before actually putting me to work. Can you point me in the direction of something I can do to help?” 

She nodded and handed him the cup. “Yes. Why don’t you fill that up and take it to Old Mr. Wark in the long tent while I talk to the staff and prepare them for your presence. If that’s okay with you?”

Quentin nodded and smiled. “Oh my god. Yes. Please do that. I’m not here to...King, I’m here to help so I really don’t  want to be a spectacle. I’m supposed to stay out of the way and just do what people tell me to do.” 

She laughed and shook her head. “You say that. But I’m not sure anyone will ever feel okay bossing you around.” 

“Well...try. For me.” 

She blushed and nodded, backing out of the tent. “I...I will, King Q.”

She must have done a good job of it because no one made a scene. Reddah was certainly not the last person to stare at him adoringly, but everyone else, at least, had the decency to do it from a distance. None of that mattered, though, because he was able to help. He changed bandages brought food and water, made kids smile. By midday he’d acquired two helpers: the twin girls of a woman suffering from a severe infection. Neither one talked, the trauma of their mother’s illness seemingly too much for them to fathom, but they smiled when he told them jokes. And so Quentin did everything he could to keep them smiling, including letting them help out. They were good helpers and carried supplies for him, walking so close that one often bumped into the back of his leg when he stopped walking. 

It was nice to feel like he was doing something, though. And their presence at his side only helped to solidify that he was helping make Fillory better. Quentin got so engrossed in working that he didn’t even notice the time. He was bent over a healing set of stitches on an unconscious man, cleaning them carefully, when one of the twins started tugging on his shirt. 

“Not now, sweetheart. I’m almost done then I’ll take you back to your mother.” Quentin smiled, glancing down at the little girl. 

She tugged his shirt again, frowning and pointing at the door of the tent. Quentin stood upright and looked over his shoulder. Eliot was standing in the doorway, staring at Quentin as if he’d seen a unicorn. 

Quentin smiled at him. “Eliot. What are you doing here?” 

Eliot blinked, shaking his head and walking into the tent. “I...you were late coming back to the castle so I came looking for you.” 

“Shit, it’s that late? Okay. Let me just finish this dressing, take these girls to their mother, and I’ll be ready to go.” Quentin turned back to the unconscious man he was working on. 

Eliot stepped closer and watched him work. “You’re...really good at that.”

Quentin frowned and glanced at him. “I...you say that like I’m not good at anything.” 

“I mean...Q...you kind of aren’t.” 

“Excuse you, I’m a decent magician.” 

Eliot shook his head and sighed. “No. You’re really not, actually. But did you ever try healing magic?”

“I...I don’t know? I did that test thing to see what my specialty is but when she put the plant in my hand nothing happened.” 

“Yeah, well they’re good at screwing those up when people have a specific specialty. Did she test you on actual people?” 

“No. But I’m...I was good at physical magic not the healing spells.” 

“Yeah, well there’s a healing discipline that works through physical magic. If we get this sorted you should try it out. It’s better than being a fuck up with no specialty.”

Quentin looked at him and frowned. “Hey. There’s kids here.” 

Eliot glanced at the kids and nodded. “Yeah...speaking of that, why are there kids here?”

“I treated their mother earlier today. They’re having a little bit of a rough time right now and they wanted to help. So they’re helping. And, since they did such a good job of it, they can keep helping as long as they want.” Quentin smiled at the girls. 

They grinned and nodded. Quentin chuckled and bandanged the man’s leg before going to the wash basin and washing up. 

“Okay. Come on girls, let’s go back to the main tent and then I need to go get some supper.” Quentin smiled and headed out of the tent, the girls walking mere inches behind him. “How did farming go today?”

“Really well, actually. No one to screw anything up.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes and sighed. “I know. I’m horrible at farming. You can stop reminding me. But I’m glad things went well today, at least.” 

“They did. We should actually have a really good crop. Enough to feed...everyone.” 

“Wow. That’s amazing. I can’t believe how much you’ve done here, sometimes.” Quentin smiled at him. 

Eliot watched the people smile and nod to Quentin as he walked into the long tent. “I don’t know, Q. I think you’ve done in one day what took me months to do.” 

Quentin didn’t hear him, though. He was too busy settling the twin girls into the cot they shared next to their mother. Once they were comfortable he turned to Eliot, finding him staring again. 

“You’re looking at me like it’s a miracle I can walk without falling...again. Stop it.” Quentin rolled his eyes at Eliot. 

Eliot shook his head and offered his elbow to Quentin. “No. It’s not that. It’s just that you’re so good at it.”

Quentin sighed and walked past Eliot and the offered arm. Eliot took off after him, forcing his hand into the bend of Quentin’s elbow when he caught up. 

“Come on, Q. You know I don’t mean it like that. I just mean it’s really nice to see you doing things so effortlessly. Being so good at something. Not having to struggle at all.”  

Quentin smiled and blushed. “Well...thank you. Even if I’m still a little offended.” 

“You’re welcome. So...you had a good day.” It wasn’t a question but an observation. 

“I did. I really liked helping out here. It was really fulfilling. I...god I didn’t even think for one second about fixing magic or going back to Brakebills.” He raised his eyebrows as he realized it. 

Eliot smiled softly. “That’s...good? I mean I’d like magic to be fixed and all. But I guess it’s good that you had such a good day. I mean, if magic can’t be fixed and this is the new normal we have to find a way to live, at least.” 

Quentin shrugged and rested his hand on Eliot’s hand in the crook of his elbow. “Yeah. I still want to fix everything, but I don’t even know where to start so I’ve spent the last...months just worrying about it constantly. But today? I didn’t even think about it. And after months of misery followed by two solid weeks of being in my dream land and doing nothing but worrying about how I can fix things, it was nice to have a day off.” 

Eliot smiled and leaned over to kiss his hair. “Good. You deserve that.” 

Quentin smiled softly and shook his head. “I’m not giving up, though. I still want it back.”

“I do too. I wake up most mornings and just feel empty. Like I woke up without one of my senses.” Eliot nodded.

“I spent so long without but but now that I’ve had it? I mean I couldn’t even stay away from magic after Alice died when Fogg sent me away. It’s like losing a limb for it to be gone.” 

“Want to go stare at the empty wellspring tomorrow? It helps me to go stare at it. Reminds me that it can fill up again.” 

“Yeah I...I’d actually really like that.” 

Eliot grinned and nodded. “Then we will go there tomorrow before we hear from the citizens.” 

Quentin sighed and closed his eyes. “God. We have that tomorrow. I’m so bad at it.” 

“You made two girls smile even though their mother is half dead. You’re really, really good at helping people. Just be yourself and it’ll be fine.” 

“You say that, but…” 

Eliot frowned and led Quentin into the dining room. “I say that because it’s the truth. When you’re trying too hard is when you’re awkward and no one likes you. But when you’re relaxed and acting normal, everyone likes you. I mean, come on, you got inducted into the cool kids club on your first day at Brakebills.” 

Quentin sat and laughed softly. “That’s true. Though, Margo told me it was just because I was cute, though.” 

“Oh yeah.” Eliot nodded and sat across from him. “It was. I’m just lying to lift your spirits.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes and sighed. “Yeah. Thanks for that.” 

Eliot winked and sipped from his glass. “Mmm. The wine is getting better.” 

“Oh yeah?” Quentin took a sip and winced. “God. That still tastes like ass.”

“I know. But it’s getting better. You can at least stomach it now.

Quentin made a face and slid the goblet away from himself. “You can actually stomach this shit?”

Eliot shrugged and drank again. “I don’t really get nice things. This being anything but horrible is enough. I marry for power. I can’t leave. I don’t even do magic anymore. So let me have my shitty wine.” 

“None of that’s true now that Fillory’s magic is gone, though, El. You can have sex with whoever you want now. Marry whoever you want. You can leave. Yeah, you can’t do magic but we can keep trying to sort that out. I mean hell I have the button if you want to leave right now we can go. Magic that comes anywhere but from people still works. It’s no better on Earth, but if you really want out then let’s get out.” 

Eliot shook his head. “You don’t get it. I can’t leave. I...actually like it here now. But even if I didn’t I’m the King and the Kingdom is in crisis mode. I can’t just abandon them. Not only that but I’m crazy enough that I want to make the place better. Even if I miss some things from Earth, I can’t leave these people alone.” he shrugged. 

Quentin blinked and smiled at him. “Who would have guessed that you’d end up being such a great ruler.”

Eliot rolled his eyes and sighed. “Literally anyone that ever went to a party I hosted? Come on, Q. I can plan a party and be sure every person the perfect level of drunk all night long. I’m good at ruling.”

Quentin shook his head and started eating. “That’s true. Then I’m surprised you don’t have a still set up in the basement.”

“Oh, Q. You say that like I don’t.” Eliot winked. 

Quentin smiled and shook his head. “Good. I was going to say. I do miss your cocktails. God, you always had one just when I needed it.”

“Mmm. And here I thought you were going to say you missed my cock. Disappointing.” Eliot rested his elbows on the table and smiled. 

Quentin blushed and looked away. “You know I wasn’t going to say that. I just saw it this morning, after all.” 

“Mmhmm. Be a good boy and grab the bottle of oil. The one by the bread.” 

Quentin picked up the bottle and looked at it, confused. “This one? Why?”

“And just slip that in your pocket. Gonna need that later for when I’m fucking you.” Eliot smiled sweetly. 

“Oh. I...oh…” Quentin flushed dark red and slipped the bottle into his pocket. 

Eliot smiled and kept eating. “We really need more but that will have to do for tonight.” 

“We’re kings, El. We can just ask for some. We don’t have to steal it off the table.” 

“Yeah but it was more fun to watch you get all uncomfortable.” 

Quentin opened his mouth to argue, but he could feel the heat from his cheeks and shut his mouth. “Fine. I’m uncomfortable. Happy?”

Eliot shrugged and finished off his plate. “I’ll be happier when I’m balls deep, but I guess I’m happy enough. Good food tonight.” 

“I was trying to tease back.” Quentin sighed. 

Eliot nodded. “Oh I know. It’s cute that you’re trying, but you just aren’t quite there. Eat faster. I want to walk around the gardens before sex and it’s starting to get dark.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes again and finished off his plate. “There. Fine. You know you can walk alone, though.” 

“Duh. But I want you to have a chance to relax a little bit after dinner so sex is easier and if I leave you alone you’ll just brood. And I’m getting bored.” Eliot stood and walked around the table, dragging Quentin’s chair out. 

Quentin sighed and stood, shaking his head. “Who the hell gave you power? It has obviously gone to your head.” 

“I don’t know. Take it up with the magic blade.” Eliot winked and headed down to the castle’s lush gardens. 

Quentin huffed a sigh but followed him. In the end Eliot was right. It was relaxing to walk through the gardens. The flowers hadn’t suffered from the wellspring issues and were still vibrant. Quentin felt any stress he had melt away as he bent to smell some massive red flowers. When he stood back up he felt light headed from the perfume. It was that or the opium in Fillory’s air was stronger in those flowers. Either way, when Quentin looked at Eliot who was bent over, carefully pinching off a dying blossom from a smaller plant, he knew their walk needed to head towards the bedroom next. 

Quentin walked up behind Eliot and rested his hand on the small of Eliot’s back. “About done here?” 

Eliot tossed the dead flower into the dirt and stood upright again, turning to face Quentin. “If that’s code for you being ready for sex, then oh fuck yes I’m done here.” 

“Its code for I’m ready for sex.” Quentin nodded. 

Eliot smiled and draped his arm around Quentin’s shoulders. “Oh fuck yes I’m done here.” 

Quentin blushed and headed back towards Eliot’s rooms. After a few minutes of quiet he glanced at Eliot and sighed softly. 

“Hey....it’s been a really long time since I’ve done this. So...go slow? And tell me if I’m doing something wrong?” 

Eliot glanced at him and smiled softly. “Of course, Q. I want you to enjoy yourself too. And we don’t even have to have penetrative sex. I just wanted to embarrass you earlier.” 

Quentin shook his head. “No. No I really want to.”

“Oh my god you’re a needy bottom, aren’t you.” Eliot rolled his eyes.

“I don’t honestly know? I’m not sure anyone has ever told me what I am.” 

Eliot chuckled and opened the door to his rooms, holding it open for Quentin. “Well then I’ll just have to enlighten you once I’ve collected enough data points.” 

Quentin grinned and stepped into the bedroom. “Oh? How many data points do you think you’ll need?” 

“I honestly don’t know. Let’s get one and see where we’re at in the morning. I may need dozens. I’m so devoted to scientific integrity, after all.” Eliot stepped closer and smiled. 

Quentin smiled and backed up, staying just out of Eliot’s reach. “Dozens? That sounds like a lot. Maybe this is too big of a research project for you to undertake right now. I mean you’ve got the kingdom to worry about, after all.” 

“Oh don’t worry I know my limits. The real question is whether or not you know your’s.” Eliot stepped forward, reaching out quickly to grab the front of Quentin’s shirt and slowly pull him closer. 

Quentin smiled and willingly moved into Eliot’s personal space. “I don’t know. Why don’t you find out first hand?”

Eliot smiled and shook his head. “Okay, aside comment, you’re really much better at flirting in the bedroom than you are at what you call flirting outside the bedroom. Like...kinda blown away, here.” 

Quentin blushed and shook his head. “It’s easier because in a bedroom I know the other person actually wants me and wants me to be there.” 

“Well you’re right about that. I do want you.” Eliot smiled and slipped his arms around Quentin’s waist as he ducked his head to kiss him. 

Quentin sighed into Eliot’s mouth, hands immediately going to his hair. Second night and it was still just as Earth shattering how good Eliot was at kissing. When Eliot pulled away, Quentin whimpered softly and leaned forward to follow him. 

Eliot smiled and held Quentin at arm’s length as he started to work on Quentin’s buttons. “Definitely leaning towards needy bottom.” 

“Shut up. You can’t kiss me like that and expect me to not be needy.” Quentin sighed and started working on his pants. 

Eliot smiled and tugged Quentin’s shirt off. “Is it weird that needy is kind of doing it for me?”

Quentin laughed and pulled Eliot’s shirt off as well. “Anything that does it for you right now is good.” 

“Suppose that’s fair. Now…” Eliot stepped closer again, holding Quentin’s chin as he reached into his pocket. 

Quentin’s eyes fluttered closed as Eliot slid his hand down Quentin’s thigh inside the pocket. “El...El what are you doing?”

Eliot kissed his jaw and slowly pulled out the bottle of oil Quentin and pocketed earlier. “I’m getting out our supplies.” He held the bottle up in front of Quentin’s face and winked. 

Quentin blushed and shook his head. “Tease.” 

“I’m not a tease. I’m going to fuck you. Now get naked and get in bed.” Eliot shook his head and dropped the oil on the bedside table. 

Quentin felt his heart in his throat as he stripped his pants and underwear. He wasn’t shaking as he shuffled to the center of Eliot’s bed, but he felt like he might as well have been. It really had been a long time. That coupled with memories of the pain of his last time had him feeling like a wound spring. But Eliot would be gentle. Much more gentle than that guy back in college. Quentin couldn’t remember his name, but he could remember the pain when he’d pushed in with only a cursory dollop of lube. But Eliot would be different. 

“Q. Breathe. You look like you’re literally having a fit.” Eliot was snarking, but it didn’t hide the concern in his voice as he sat on the edge of the bed, having stripped off the rest of his clothes as well. 

“I-I-I-I’m breathing.” Quenin nodded and smiled weakly, knowing the anxious stutter gave him away.” 

Eliot stretched out next to Quentin and sighed. “Q. Talk to me.” 

Quentin sighed and rolled onto his side, resting his forehead against Eliot’s shoulder as they both lay on their sides, facing one another on the bed. “Last time I did this wasn’t….it wasn’t great.” 

“What do you mean?” Eliot brought his hand up to stroke up and down Quentin’s arm. 

Quentin took a deep breath, letting it out in a harsh sigh. “It...hurt a lot. And I-I-I know you won’t be like that. I know it won’t hurt. But you were right not to leave me alone while you walked. I’d have started brooding and probably run off.” 

Eliot sighed and shook his head. “Bastard. Q, I’m so sorry. Let’s do something different tonight, okay.” 

“No,” Quentin looked up at him and nodded. “I want to try again. Right now. With you. But I’m just not any good at being sexy right now.” 

“Yeah well I got news for you, kid, sex is rarely sexy.” Eliot have him a half smile. 

Quentin smiled slowly. “It was sexy last night.”

“Last night was your first assisted orgasm in a damn long time. Of course it was sexy. I could have slapped it around and called it a night and you’d have had your mind blown. Last night was the fantasy. Tonight is the reality of sex.” Eliot raised an eyebrow. 

“Well from where I’m at the reality is pretty sexy.” Quentin kissed him, taking his time with Eliot’s mouth. 

Eliot sighed and kissed him back, licking into Quentin’s mouth. Kissing him in a way that felt teasing. Like he was pulling Quentin forward for more. And Quentin took the bait. He pressed closer, tangling his fingers in Eliot’s hair so he could keep up. He barely even registered Eliot’s hand on his ass. He half noticed his fingers wandering further South, but it was nothing compared to the kiss. He did notice when Eliot’s finger, suddenly slick with the oil from the table, gently pressed inside him. 

Quentin broke the kiss with a soft gasp. 

“Breathe. Is this okay?” Eliot kissed his foread. 

Quentin nodded, moaning softly as Eliot wiggled the tip of his finger. “Oh fuck yes.” 

Eliot smiled and kissed Quentin again before easing his finger out. 

“Wait. I liked that.” Quentil whimpered and reached to grab Eliot’s wrist. 

“So needy. Christ almighty. This position is shit. Lie on your back and spread your legs. And try and not be too needy when you do it.” he winked. 

Quentin flopped onto his back and bent his knees, letting them fall apart with a wanton moan. “How’s this?”

Eliot rolled his eyes and pressed the tip of his finger inside Quentin again. “Cheeky bastard.” 

Quentin moaned in earnest, arching his back. “Shit. God that feels so weird and so good at the same time.”

“It does tend to. Just keep breathing and let me know if it stops feeling good.” Eliot added a little more oil before pressing his finger in deeper. 

“Oh god. Okay. Much weirder and much better. Much, much better. How does that feel so good. Shit, sorry I’m babbling.” Quentin ribbed his eyes and tried to keep quiet, unable to stop himself from moaning softly every time Eliot shifted his finger. 

Eliot grinned and worked his finger around, starting to press a second one in. “This is one of the few times that it’s a good thing for you to babble. I need to get your mind to relax and be okay with this feeling so you don’t tense up when it’s...something a little bit bigger.”

Quentin laughed, the sound turning into a moan as Eliot worked his fingers apart. “O...okay. In that case, that feels...really weird. Less good but not bad.” 

“Okay. Stress levels?” Eliot kissed his knee, watching him carefully. 

“Mild to moderate?” Quentin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “But honestly I just wanna...do this.” 

“You’re the boss.” Eliot slipped his fingers out of Quentin. “Put your butt on a pillow.” 

Quentin slipped a thick pillow under his hips, watching as Eliot poured some oil onto his hand and stroked his own erection, moaning softly. Quentin couldn’t help but shiver, remembering how good the sex had been the night before. 

“Don’t be embarrassed if you lose your hard on. Even I flag some when sex starts. I’ll be sure you enjoy yourself.” he leaned over Quentin and kissed him again. 

Quentin let himself get caught up in the kiss, relaxing completely. He pulled away and took a deep breath when he felt Eliot start to press into him. Before he could try and focus on relaxing, Eliot was kissing his neck, wiping any thought out of his mind as he pressed in further while he sucked what was sure to be a livid hickey under Quentin’s ear. 

“Okay?” Eliot nipped Quentin’s earlobe. 

Quentin nodded. “Yeah. Feels...different than what I’m used to. Not bad, though. Not good yet.” 

Eliot sat back a little and smiled, slick hand going to Quentin’s now mostly flaccid cock. “Good. Now since I’m collecting data as to what type of bottom you are, I need you to just relax and do exactly what feels right. Okay?”

“Oh fuck. Okay. Little bit tighter.” He bit his bottom lip as Eliot tightened his grip, jerking Quentin in short, fast strokes. 

It was only a short while and a handful of soft moans later when Quentin was fully hard again and Eliot finally started moving. At first it was tiny, little rocks in time with his now slow, soft grip on Quentin’s erection. 

At the first proper thrust, Quentin’s eyes shot open and he moaned loudly. “Oh holy fuck.”

“Good?” Eliot grinned, leaning forward and bracing himself on one hand so he could watch Quentin while he fucked him. 

“So good. So...oh fuck so good.” Quentin reached up to hold Eliot’s shoulders. 

Eliot smiled and rested his forehead against Quentin’s, setting up a slow rhythm of his hips and hand. “It’s only going to get better.”

Quentin arched his back, dragging his short nails down Eliot’s arms. “Oh god I had no idea this could feel so good.” 

“Oh Q. I haven’t even started yet. Feeling courageous?” 

Quentin nodded, whimpering softly. “Yes. God yes.” 

Eliot smiled and kissed him slowly. “Then put your hands on the headboard and brace.” 

Quentin smiled and looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

Eliot took Quentin’s hands and put them up against the headboard. “Brace. So I can fuck you hard enough that you scream.” 

“Oh god. Oh fucking hell. Okay. Yeah. Yes please. God yes.” Quentin adjusted his arms so he could brace the headboard better. 

“Still able to talk? Obviously I’m not doing my job.” Eliot sat up and held Quentin’s hips.

Eliot grinned and rolled his hips a few times before starting to thrust harder. Quentin’s head fell back and he moaned loudly, wrapping his legs around Eliot’s hips. Eliot smiled and watched Quentin as he fucked him and jerked him. 

“You’re so pretty, Q. I think you know that but you still don’t realise how pretty you are. It’s fucking distracting. You’ve got those big eyes and that soft hair and when you look at me I just...I want to do this to you.” He grinned and started thrusting faster. 

Quentin only moaned and arched his back, rocking down against Eliot. The world was gone. Earth was gone. Fillory was gone. Magic didn’t even matter. Nothing mattered but how he felt in that moment and how Eliot was making him feel. Sex had never felt like this before. No one had ever spoken to Quentin the way Eliot was now, a stream of compliments falling from his lips even as his voice started to break and his hair fell in his face, wet with sweat. Suddenly it was all too much and Quentin could only moan loudly, arms shaking as he tried to keep bracing on the headboard as he came. His hears roared with blood and his throat burned as he kept moaning loudly. He wasn’t able to think enough to know if Eliot came too, but within a minute Eliot had stopped thrusting and was kissing him again. Kissing he could do. 

Quentin moaned into Eliot’s mouth, the world coming back to him as they kissed. He felt hot all over and sticky with sweat, but he’d never felt better in his life. As Eliot settled into the bed next to him, looking proud, Quentin could only stared. 

“You...you’re...you.” Quentin panted, trying to get words out as he caught his breath. 

Eliot smiled and ran his fingers through Quentin’s hair, kissing him again. “Just relax. You don’t have to talk right now.” 

Quentin nodded and lay back on the bed, putting his hand over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. He felt Eliot get out of the bed and then come back a moment later. Quentin uncovered his eyes when he felt something wet on his stomach. 

“What are you…” 

“Shhh, Q. You’re literally covered in come. I’m just cleaning you off so you don’t crust over.” Eliot smiled and wiped his ass clean, eliciting another soft moan from Quentin. 

Quentin nodded and closed his eyes. “Thank you.”

Eliot tossed the cloth aside and grinned. “So I was right. Really, really needy bottom.” 

Quentin opened one eye and looked at him. “Can’t help it when you fuck like that.” 

Eliot laughed and stretched out on his side, sitting up on his elbow so he could watch Quentin. “Sweetie, you moaned like a cheap whore in a porno. You were suuuuch a needy bottom. But I like my bottoms needy and my tops bossy so I’m not complaining.” 

Quentin blinked slowly and watched Eliot, reaching up to run his fingers through Eliot’s hair and push it out of his eyes. “You do realize I’m a dog compared to you, right?” 

Eliot rolled his eyes, still smiling. “I know. I’m a goddamn specimen.” 

“No, El. I’m not sure you do. El you…” Quentin sighed and cupped Eliot’s cheek as the smile slowly fell off of Eliot’s face, “you’re one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen. And right now, sweaty, flushed, with your hair falling in your face, I’ve never seen anyone look better in my life. You’re like...you’re like what I would imagine gods must look like.” 

Eliot stared at him for a long moment before swallowing and leaning down to kiss Quentin slowly and passionately, licking his mouth open for a kiss with enough intensity that Quentin could barely breathe. When he pulled away he pressed his face into Quentin’s neck, sighing softly. 

“So was that better than the first time you had anal sex?” Eliot kissed his neck. 

Quentin chuckled and slipped his arms around Eliot. “Yes. God yes. I...I am honestly not sure I’ve ever had better sex.”

“Really? Never?” Eliot looked up at him and smiled. 

Quentin started laughing, feeling his cheeks get hot. “I don’t think so. Mind you about a minute ago I couldn’t actually for a coherent sentence so right now I might not be the most unbiased judge. But I can honestly say I’ve never felt better than I do right now.” 

Eliot smiled and rested his head on Quentin’s shoulder, tracing his finger across Quentin’s chest. “I’m not sure that I have, either.”

“Yeah? I just lay there. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of people lay there before.” Quentin kissed his hair and smiled. 

“Fair. But you made really sexy noises and you clenched around me like you’ve been doing this for years. And you just...well like I said. You’re really pretty.” 

“I noticed you saying that. Pretty, huh?” Quentin chuckled. 

Eliot looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Yes. If you had shorter hair we could consider handsome but your hair literally looks fantastic braided. So you’re pretty.”

Quentin rolled his eyes and sighed. “Come on. I happen to like my hair longer.” 

“So do I. I never said I didn’t.”

“But you said I can’t be handsome with long hair.” 

Eliot frowned. “You say that like being pretty isn’t a good thing.” 

“Oh so it’s a good thing that I’m pretty?” Quentin grinned, unable to stop himself from teasing. 

Eliot smiled and shifted to straddle Quentin’s hips. He leaned down to kiss him slowly. “It’s very good that you’re pretty.”

Quentin held his hips and laughed. “Then I suppose this friends having sex thing is quite a bit easier. Get to have sex with someone you’re friends with  _ and _ that you find attractive.” 

Eliot nodded, smile getting hard. “Exactly. I mean, come on, I thought you were a hot piece of tail the day you walked into Brakebills. I’m just finally getting a chance to move on you.” 

Quentin couldn’t help but wonder what he’d said wrong. What made Eliot go from happy to hard so quickly. Had he fucked something up? Had he fucked something up for good? But they were kissing again and he couldn’t focus on anything but Eliot’s mouth. They didn’t talk anymore after that. They kissed for a while longer before slowly falling asleep in each other’s arms. 


	8. The Wellspring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Company is no longer in town. Huge load of work to get done has been finished. I should be back on track? Should be? Fingers crossed. Bit of a shorter chapter this week but we have to go back to some regularly scheduled plot.

Quentin was achy, sore, felt like he needed a shower, and the happiest he’d been in a long time. He reached out for Eliot but found the other side of the bed empty but warm. Quentin could hear the water running in the attached bath and sighed, stretching out on his back as he tried not to fret that he really had fucked something up the night before. He must have fallen back asleep because he woke up to Eliot tossing a wet towel onto his face. 

“Wake up. You wanted to go to the wellspring today.”

Quentin whined and rolled onto his stomach, hugging a pillow. “It’s our day off. I want to spend the morning in bed with you.” 

“Yeah well I wanted a shower and now that I’m clean I’m not having sex until I’ve left the castle for the day so get dressed.” Eliot raised an eyebrow. “Chop chop.” 

Quentin sighed and slid out of the bed, grabbing his clothes off the floor. “You’re no fun.” 

“Yeah well that’s old news for anyone having a casual fling with me. I’m only fun at night. In the morning I kick you out so I can live my life.” 

Quentin yawned and grabbed his shirt. “Dick.” 

“Go clean up. You smell like stale jizz.” Eliot smiled and opened the door, pausing for a second to kiss Quentin before shoving him out. “I’ll meet you for breakfast.” 

Quentin laughed and stumbled out into the hallway, heading into his room to clean up, feeling better after the kiss. Through his shower he was floating, still feeling the endorphins from the sex. He felt like a different person when he looked in the mirror, like suddenly he could see what Eliot saw. He took the time to braid his hair up and out of the way before dressing in the blue shirt Eliot had liked and heading down to breakfast. 

Eliot looked up when he came into the room, smiling softly. “You look nice.” 

“I feel nice. I feel really nice.” Quentin grinned and sat across from him. 

Eliot laughed and shook his head. “Jesus, Q. Are you drunk? Or are you really that sex starved that one good lay has you giddy.” 

Quentin shrugged and poured himself some coffee. “Both? I mean, after all, you’ve labeled me a needy bottom.” 

“You really are. Jesus did Alice seriously never fuck your brains out?” 

Quentin filled his plate and shrugged. “Not really. If there was any fucking out of brains it was me fucking her’s out.”

“Well that’s just not fair. I mean...you fucked my brains out last night too. Had me babbling away like you usually do.” Eliot grinned and sipped his coffee. 

“For the record, I liked the babbling. Made me feel really good about myself.” He started eating, hoping he wasn’t blushing too much. 

Eliot smiled wider and shook his head. “ I can tell. You look nice today. Was that for me?”

“A little bit. Mostly just because I felt good.” 

“Well I’m glad I could assist in making you feel so good. Even if my ego wants to think it was all for me.” 

Quentin looked at Eliot again and smiled, happy to see the same warm, open smile as always. Whatever had happened last night had passed and things were the same as ever. That was a shockingly comforting thought to Quentin. He’d only been in Fillory a short while, but already his routine here with Eliot, even with the new addition of sex, felt more normal than the previous three months on Earth had felt. The shitty coffee, the weirdly pink eggs, to bacon that tasted like apples. None of that seemed terribly weird as he sat across from Eliot, quietly eating breakfast. 

“Still want to see the wellspring today?” Eliot finished his coffee and picked up a spoon to check his teeth. 

Quentin smiled and picked up another piece of bacon. “Yeah. I really just want to see it.” 

“It helps, seeing it empty.”

“And I could really use that.”

Eliot nodded. “Then eat up and put on your big boy pants because I don’t want you crying over this.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes. “I won’t cry.”

“Don’t be so sure. It’s pretty depressing to see it.” Eliot sighed and stood. 

Quentin drained his cup and nodded. “I still won’t cry.”

“You cry over pretty much everything, Q.” 

Quentin raised an eyebrow. “I have a wood shoulder, Eliot. I never cried over that.”

“I almost forgot about that. I can’t believe I did. I had you naked last night and didn’t even notice.” 

“Yeah. It looks the same. They put a fake skin coating over it so sometimes even I forget.” he stood and reached his hand up to squeeze the shoulder. “I only notice when I can’t feel it.” 

“Need me to...I don’t know, avoid it in bed?” Eliot walked around the table and offered his elbow to Quentin. 

Quentin took his elbow and smiled. “No. When I see it...I can almost feel the contact because I know what it feels like. So don’t worry about it. But know I’m not going to cry when I see the wellspring.” 

Eliot laughed and led them out of the castle. “Okay. I’ll stop worrying. Want to walk or ride?”

“Ride?” Quentin frowned. 

Eliot nodded towards the stables. “Ride. The whole carriage is just too much work so it’s easier to just grab a horse and ride.”

Quentin grinned and looked at the stables. “I kinda want to see you ride a horse, so I’m gonna say ride.” 

“Jokes on you, Q. I grew up on a farm, remember?” 

“And Julia was that horse girl. So we went to horse camp...seven summers in a row?” 

Eliot narrowed his eyes. “Oh? So you’re saying this is a challenge?” 

“I think it might be. First to catch, groom, and tack up gets what?” 

“Hmm. The first batch of vodka from the still will be done in a week or so...loser makes drinks?” 

Quentin grinned and nodded. “Deal. But you have to be fair and tell me which horse to go for. I don’t know them like you do.” 

Eliot sighed and shrugged. “Fine. That’s fair. You want the bay mare. Her name is Sugar for a reason. She’s a sweetheart.” 

“If you’re lying to me I will...do...something.” 

“Christ, Q. I’m not lying. She’s a great horse. I’m gonna catch the big white one. They named him Lightening because they thought he’d be fast and fiery. But he’s dumb and slow and I really like him so we’re not racing once we’re tacked. This is it no double or nothing.” 

Quentin nodded as they headed into the barn, taking the halter he was given. “Fair enough. First one to be right back here with a clean and ready to ride horse wins.” 

Eliot smiled and kissed Quentin’s cheek. “I’m so going to enjoy the drinks you make me. Go.” 

They both jogged off in opposite directions, heading opposite directions to the pastures to collect the horses. Quentin was pleased to see that Eliot had told the truth and Sugar was really sweet. She lipped his leg every time he walked by as he groomed her, searching for snacks. She was gentle enough that the took the time to fill his pockets with some treats before getting the saddle on her. She seemed to get the rush and happily trotted behind him as he jogged back to the front of the barn. When Quentin didn’t see Eliot already there, he grinned and started giving Sugar some treats. 

“You did really well, Sugar. Picked your hooves up and everything. You deserve all the treats in the barn for that. You won me some drinks. And Eliot makes the best drinks in the world.” He smoothed her mane and smiled. 

Eliot sighed and walked up, Lightening pushing past him to come get a treat out of Quentin’s hand. “You bastard. Get your treat. I call foul play. He rolled in mud and I had to get that out so really, I was sabotaged by the horse.”

“Sugar had mud on her too. But we still finished first. I guess I’m just better at this.” Quentin shrugged and gave Lightening the last treat. 

Eliot narrowed his eyes at the horse before dragging his head away from Quentin. “Traitor. See if I ever ride you again.” 

Quentin laughed and walked out of the barn before mounting up. “You know you will. He’s the prettiest horse out here and you’re just vain enough to want to ride the prettiest.” 

“Yeah well so are you.” Eliot followed him, mounting up and heading towards the forest. 

“No offense to Sugar, but she’s not the prettiest horse out there.” Eliot followed him. 

“I didn’t mean Sugar, sweetie. I meant me.” Eliot winked at him. 

Quentin stared for a minute before the joke finally landed, eliciting a deep blush from him. “I...you...I’ll have you know...you’re an asshole.” 

“I am. But you like me. Like me enough that you’re all red in the face thinking about riding me, aren’t you?” Eliot raised an eyebrow and smiled slowly, already knowing the answer to the question. 

Quentin huffed and rolled his eyes, trying to play cool even though Eliot was completely right and the image of riding Eliot would stay with him until he actually got to do it. “Anyways. So when did you first come out here?”

Eliot sighed, mildly disappointed that the subjected had changed and he couldn’t keep teasing Quentin. “The day magic stopped. I thought there was another problem with the Wellspring and…” 

Quentin frowned as Eliot trailed off. “You thought maybe you could fix it.” 

“You know me so well,” Eliot tried to smile at him but it came off more as a grimace, “I had the ego to think that somehow I could help. Somehow I, of all people, could actually fix this.” 

“But...but Eliot you have helped.”

Eliot raised an eyebrow and snapped his fingers. “Still have both balls? Then I haven’t really helped, have I?”

Quentin sighed and shook his head. “No. No, not like that. Eliot we both know you’ve helped the people. They were starving and dying without you.” 

“It’s true. I’ve saved lives. I will be well remembered in history. But. But I know each and every person in this land would kill me themselves if it meant magic would come back.” Eliot shrugged. 

“Not every person.” 

“Hmm? Who then?” 

Quentin knit his eyebrows together and stared at Eliot. “Me…”

Eliot looked down, hiding his face and the emotions it revealed from Quentin. “You can’t really mean that.”

“I...I mean I can’t say I wouldn’t love to have magic back. And if I’m being honest there’s probably a lot of people I’d kill to get it back. I...well...most of them are already dead actually so that point may be moot. But the bigger point here is that I wouldn’t kill you. El, I’d go the rest of my life without magic if that’s what it took to just...be here. With you. It’s been no time at all and I’m more at home here than I think I ever was at Brakebills. And that’s saying a lot because I thought I’d found paradise there. I mean...a paradise where I didn’t really ever belong. I mean, I’ve never belonged. Anywhere. Except here. You found a place for me. And...oh god I’m rambling, but the point...the point is that I wouldn’t kill you for magic. And if I wouldn’t...then not everyone here would.” Quentin sighed, feeling like the point had gotten away from him and turned into something lame and trite. 

Still, Eliot was smiling when he finally looked up at Quentin. “You are such a complete and total mess and I…” 

Quentin smiled as Eliot cut himself off mid sentence, opting to just stare at Quentin instead. “You what?” 

“I...I...I appreciate your presence. For the first time in...honestly, what feels like a lifetime, I don’t feel alone.” Eliot chose his words carefully as he spoke, taking his time in a way that he rarely did. 

Quentin felt the importance of the moment, but wasn’t sure what made it so important. Still, he took a few breaths before replying. 

“Good. I came here for me, but I’m really glad I was able to help you, too.” 

Eliot smiled. “Me too, Q.” 

It was Quentin’s turn to look down as the sincerity of Eliot’s smile made him uncomfortable. The High King was so rarely completely open and honest that it made Quentin uneasy to see a smile not hidden in sarcasm or snark. Just as he was starting to worry the silence was stretching on for too long, meaning he’d made things uncomfortable for everyone by being so fucking uncomfortable, he caught sight of the wellspring.


	9. Dry Spell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow sorry for the dry spell. Life has been a little chaotic and it's been hard to get this chapter finished. It's a little bit short simply because I just had to end it so I could post and move on to the next one. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to regular posting again soon.

“Oh my god.”

Eliot nodded, looking at the wide circle of dead, brown plants around the outhouse that housed the wellspring. “Yeah...it’s not easy to see.” 

Quentin walked up to the door, opening it and sighing. “God. It’s just a building now.” 

Eliot looked around the small, empty shack and nodded. “Everything inside here was magical. Now there’s just...nothing.” 

“Christ. It was so empty when we looked at it before...but this is…” 

Eliot rested his hand on the back of Quentin’s neck. “I know. It’s actually gone. It’s not some big, cosmic joke. It’s gone.” 

Quentin turned and tucked himself against Eliot’s chest, not wanting to face the reality of it anymore. Eliot smoothed his hand up and down Quentin’s back. 

“If it helps I threw up after the first time I saw it so you’re doing better than I did.” 

Quentin laughed and stepped back, smiling. “Wait, really?” 

“I was at a low point, just fought with Margo, and I came here by myself hoping I could find some hope. And I found this.” He shrugged. 

“Well. There’s nothing here…” Quentin shook and headed out of the shack, taking a slow breath to steel himself against the cold reality, “so there’s no reason to just stare at it. We can’t change anything here. I guess we might as well head back.” 

“Now you get it. There’s nothing we can do. We can’t fix this. We can’t change anything. So we just have to...keep going.” Eliot followed him out. 

“Do you really think we can’t do anything” Quentin turned to face him. 

Eliot crossed his arms. “Do you really think we can?”

Quentin’s face fell and he nodded, feeling the weight of the world crush him further. “Okay. We keep going.” 

\----

It was easier after seeing the wellspring. Sort of.  Eliot was right, though. Settling into a pattern with Reddah, Quentin started to do real good in Fillory. He could see evidence of his efforts. Evidence that he was helping in some way. Reddah trained him in first aid, and every single patient left feeling special and cared for, because one of the kings of Fillory had taken care of them. Even the weekly meet and greet with the people got easier for Quentin. Between work, keeping the kingdom together, and sex with Eliot, two months slipped by. Quentin realized it one morning at breakfast. 

“I ran out of deodorant this morning. Or, well, I guess I used the last of it.” 

Eliot looked up from the papers he was reading and raised an eyebrow. “Oookayyy? Do you need me to contact the girl who does that shit for you because you’re a child who can’t do it himself?” 

“No. No I can do that myself,” Quentin shook his head, “it’s just that...she said it would last me a couple of months. That means I’ve been here for two months.”

Eliot watched him, expression suddenly guarded. “Yeah? About to freak out on me?” 

“I...no actually. I feel...calm?”

“Is that a question? That doesn’t seem terribly calm if it’s a question.” 

“Fair. But I just...I guess I thought...well I thought a lot of things, but I thought that by two months in I’d either have fixed this or I’d be going literally insane. I guess I didn’t actually plan for my plan...fucking working. I came here to get happy. I know I said it was to fix magic, but even Fogg knew that was a long shot. So I think whether I knew it or not I was just trying to find somewhere that I could be happy.  And...I can’t believe it but I actually...am happy.” 

Eliot smiled slowly. “Is it because of my magic dick? Please tell me it’s because of my magic dick.” 

Quentin rolled his eyes. “Christ, El. I mean I won’t say it didn’t hurt. But you didn’t...you didn’t fuck me happy.” 

“Yeah? Because the shade of red you’re turning says otherwise. It says ‘oh Eliot, swallowing your semen is an antidepressant. You should put it in pill form for oral use or suppository use.’” 

Quentin tried to glare, even as he felt his cheeks getting redder. “Who the hell would use semen suppositories?”

“You’re not saying no. It’s totally my magic dick.” Eliot grinned. 

Quentin looked down at his plate, poking at the tomatoes he didn’t eat before glancing back up at Eliot. “I...well…like I said...you didn’t hurt.” 

Eliot smiled slowly, the smile lighting his entire face up in a way few of his smiles did. “Well you must have a magic ass, then, because I’ve been really happy these past two months too.” 

“So really then, maybe I’m the magic one and you’re just benefiting from me.” Quentin raised an eyebrow. 

Eliot rolled his eyes and stood. “Oh no. I’ve given Dobby a sock. I take it back. I’ve been miserable. Don’t get an inflated ego. It’s just sad to watch.” 

Quentin sighed and stood as well. “How can I get an inflated ego with you here to tamp it down?” 

“That’s my good boy.” Eliot patted his cheek and turned to leave. 

Quentin crossed his arms. “Too bad, though. If I had a bit of an ego today I might be moved to top tonight.” 

Eliot stopped in his tracks and turned back to Quentin. “You? Top? You never top.” 

“I never top  _ you _ . Admittedly because you’re so good at it. But I have in the past. And after two months it might be nice to sit without distinctly remembering what we got up to the night before.” 

Eliot narrowed his eyes. “So...are you just tired of taking it? Or do you actually want to fuck me? Because I’m incredibly confused but also...really turned on right now.” 

Quentin shrugged. “If you were bolstering my ego, then I guess I’d really want to fuck you. I think you’d look good on your back and spread out. But it’s moot. You’re not bolstering my ego.” 

“Oh my god. I knew complimenting you was a dumb, fucking choice.  What do I have to say to get fucked tonight? Please? I suspect I have to say nothing, though. You wouldn’t tease if you weren’t wanting it. So, what’s your next move, Q? How do you get out of this one if I don’t beg?” 

Quentin blushed again, looking away. “Oh. I...fuck. I don’t know. I got in over my head.” 

Eliot sighed. “God how are you actually sexy? You want to top tonight?” 

“Yeah. Obviously.” Quentin looked at him. 

Eliot grinned and stepped closer, holding Quentin’s chin and kissing him. “Then you’re topping tonight.” 

He winked and turned to leave. Quentin watched him go, fingers on his mouth. That was the first time they’d kissed outside of the bedroom. It was a part of flirting, yes. But it was a first and Quentin’s mind and heart were both racing. It was such a casual gesture, but it plagued Quentin as he walked to the medical tents. They were friends having casual sex, right? But friends having casual sex didn’t kiss after breakfast. Or if they did it was something filthy and sexual. Not something...intimate. 

By the time he got to the medical tents he was nearly having a panic attack. Why was this affecting him so much? Why in the hell was he unable to stomach casual intimacy from Eliot? He was pulled from his spiral when Reddah walked in. She looked at him and frowned, walking closer. 

“King Quentin, are you all right? You’re white as snow.” She pressed her hand to his forehead and looked him over. 

Quentin shook his head, her presence calming him immediately. “No. No I’m fine. I’m having a little bit of an anxiety attack right now, is all.” 

She tutted and cupped his cheek. “I’m so sorry. Can I help?”

There was something about her expression, something about the genuine concern in her eyes that slowed Quentin’s heart rate to normal. That was it. That had to be the reason for his panic: Reddah. He was in love with Reddah. Holy shit. How could he have missed something like that. Quentin smiled and put his hand over Reddah’s on his cheek. She looked at the point of contact and blushed, pulling her hand free. 

“Apologies, my King. I didn’t have permission.” She looked down. 

Quentin reached out and took her hand, bringing it back to his cheek. “You always have permission.” 

“I...what?” She stared at him, eyes wide as she pulled her hand free again. 

Quentin shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know how it took me so long to say this. I guess No one ever said I’m smart. But...would you want to get dinner tomorrow?”

“I am not sure I understand.” Reddah swallowed and looked at him, eyes still wide. 

“A date. Would you want to go on a date?” 

Reddah blushed dark red and looked away. “I’m a commoner. You can’t actually mean that.” 

“Reddah, of course I do. I’m a commoner where I come from. If it helps think about that.” Quentin chuckled. 

“Then...yes. I suppose that would be nice.” Reddah nodded, cheeks still pink. 

Quentin felt something in his chest tighten. It felt weird, but it wasn’t bad. It had been so long since he’d been on a date that he’d apparently forgotten what butterflies felt like. It was about time to end his dating dry spell. God he didn’t look forward to Eliot’s inevitable teasing, though. 


	10. Challenge Accepted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I'M BACK! And I'm writing this again. I'm sorry. Life was chaos. But I'm back and I really do plan on finishing it in this next while. This is a short chapter. But that's simply because I wanted to end it where I did so I could make the joke of Quentin, in his brain, saying "challenge accepted." So enjoy the short chapter and look forward to more soon.

Work in the medical tents was more awkward than usual, but it was a pleasant kind of awkward. He and Reddah shared glances at one another and spent most of the day looking away quickly and blushing. She blushed easier than he did so it was mostly Reddah blushing and Quentin watching, but it was a fun game nonetheless.  The lighthearted flirtation was fun and as he walked back to the castle he had a spring in his step. He couldn’t wait to tell Eliot. 

That thought soured his stomach suddenly. Eliot. He didn’t want to tell Eliot. But of course he didn’t. All Eliot would do is tease him relentlessly and then ask probing questions about whether or not this meant they had to stop having sex. Today he felt good. He didn’t want to deal with the teasing or the questions. That was an issue for after he and Reddah had even gone on a first date. Besides, after the thrilling day he had going home and topping Eliot would be the proverbial icing on the cake. 

Eliot seemed to think so too. He was waiting outside the door when Quentin walked up, sitting on a nearby rock with his legs looking impossibly long and inviting. Eliot fixed him with a long look and smiled. 

“Hail the conquering hero. Don’t you look happy.” 

Quentin couldn’t help blushing as he smiled at his friend. “I had a good day.” 

“Oh yes? Good day or looking forward to what we’re going to do tonight?” Eliot stood up and offered his elbow to Quentin. 

Quentin slipped his hand through Eliot’s arm and shrugged. “A little bit of both, I guess. Did you have a good day?” 

“Nope.” Eliot shook his head, enunciating enough that the p sound popped. “It was a day from hell. We now have an infestation of intelligent and magical squirrels that won’t listen to us when we explain that they’re trashing our crops.” 

Quentin looked at Eliot’s contented smile and blinked, trying to reason away the positive tone with the negative sentiment. “O...okay. But you know you sound happy, right? Like...serial killer while talking about killing people happy.” 

“Oh I’m happy now. Because you’re back and I get to end this stressful day with a good fuck. It’s been...literally years.” 

“Years? I thought you moved through half the staff here?” 

“I did, but do you really think I was letting any of them take control? God no. I don’t trust any of them nearly enough. Besides, I really like topping normally. But, well you understand. Sometimes it’s nice to let someone else do the work. Just lie there and think of England.” 

Quentin blushed again and laughed as they walked into the dining room. “I don’t believe for a single second that you’ll just lie there. I know you too well.” 

“Well we will just have to see, won’t we?” Eliot glanced at Quentin before stepping away from him and moving to sit in his normal place at the table. 

That single glance was nearly enough to bring Quentin to his knees from the heat it contained. This would be a night to remember. And why wouldn’t it be? Every night they’d had together was one for the record books. That’s what happened when you fucked your best friend. Everyone’s needs were always met. It was always so perfect. Even when it wasn’t, they both went to sleep happy. 

Quentin couldn’t help but think back fondly on the last two months. Sure, magic was still gone. Sure, he was technically trapped in Fillory. Sure, literally everyone else was somewhere else and he had no way of guaranteeing that they were still alive. The world had gone to shit. But in that shit hole, he spent two months at peace with himself and everything around him. It was like when he first discovered Brakebills, but without the crushing anxiety about proving that he deserved to be there. He didn’t have to prove anything with Eliot. Eliot simply took him as he was, even if he did tease constantly. And as much as he griped, Eliot seemed to enjoy the farming work. Both of them were able to see progress in their projects. They were able to see growth and healing happening in the last two months, and know that it was thanks to their efforts. And coming back to the castle and being together in the evenings was really what friendship was about, Quentin thought. Meeting one another’s needs and loving the other person for who they were. It was the best and most deep friendship he’d ever had. No one had ever made him feel as accepted and cared for as Eliot did. Not even Alice. The adage he’d never seemed to understand of ‘bros before hoes’ suddenly seemed to make more sense to him. He made a mental note to be sure to not neglect his relationship with Eliot as he began dating Reddah. 

“Not hungry?” Eliot spoke up, bringing Quentin out of his thoughts. 

Quentin looked up, feeling a little bit like a deer in headlights. “I...what?”

Eliot glanced at Quentin’s plate. “You’ve eaten maybe, three bites? The rest of your food has taken a nice trip around the plate, courtesy of your fork.” 

“Oh. Sorry. I guess I’m a little distracted.” Quentin shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat up a little as he thought about their after-dinner plans. 

A wide grin slowly spread across Eliot’s face. “Oh yes? Thinking about what?” 

“You know damn well what I’m thinking about.” Quentin sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Thinking about centaurs?” Eliot rested his head on his hands and batted his eyelashes. 

Quentin nodded. “Yeah. Exactly. I’m thinking about the moody, shit filled centaurs and how much I want to just…just...plow one of them later.” he grimaced as he finished the thought. 

“Ooh. Such good dirty talk. Has anyone ever told you that you really know how to turn a man on, before?” Eliot winked. 

Quentin laughed and ran his hands over his face. “Well, you’re the one who is about to have sex with me. So really who’s the idiot in this situation.” 

“You, honey.” Eliot stood and walked around the table, holding his hand out to Quentin. “Now come on. Let’s go have that sex.”

Quentin took his hand and stood, rolling his eyes. “I...fine.”

“Much better. Just keep that pretty mouth of yours quiet until we can put it to better use.” 

“I will bite your dick later.” Quentin glanced at Eliot from the corner of his eyes. 

Eliot looked at Quentin with a patronizing fondness. “You say that like I wouldn’t enjoy it. I’m going to enjoy literally every minute of tonight. And I’m going to do no work. Nothing can ruin this for me.” 


	11. Jackpot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays. Here's some porn.

“Good. Then I won’t have performance anxiety.” Quentin smiled and opened the door of Eliot’s room, really their room, motioning for Eliot to go in first. 

Eliot stepped close, resting his hand on Quentin’s chest. “Good. Because there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just you…,” he stepped closer and leaned down to kiss Quentin’s cheek, “and me and nothing else.” 

Quentin shivered, feeling the hairs on his arms stand on end. “O...okay.”

Eliot stepped back and smiled. “Out of your own head now?”

“Yes.” Quentin smiled and nodded slowly. 

“Good. You get into your own head and get stuck in an endless loop until you self destruct. Don’t do that. Not with me, at least. There’s nothing to visit and revisit and question. There’s just us.” 

Quentin smiled slowly and held Eliot’s hips. “There’s just us...and way too many clothes. We should take care of that.” 

Eliot laughed and let Quentin push him back into the bedroom. “God this really has been the greatest discovery in the history of mankind. Quentin Fucking Coldwater has confidence and game in the bedroom.” 

“Because I’m good at it. I’m just not really good at most things.” Quentin sighed and started on the button’s of Eliot’s shirt. 

Eliot watched him, still smiling. “That you are. But tonight I get to see something new and I’m excited for you to show me.” 

“So am I.” Quentin glanced up at Eliot and stood up on tiptoe to kiss him. 

He didn’t lean in for a firm kiss, though. He kept the kiss slow delicate, letting the intensity of the moment build until his calf muscles started to shake from staying on tiptoe for so long. When he finally pulled back, Eliot was smiling, eyes half closed. 

“I’m never going to get tired of that.” 

Quentin smiled and pushed Eliot’s shirt off his shoulders. “What, me kissing you?”

“You kissing me.” Eliot nodded and held Quentin’s face in both of his hands, staring at him for a long moment before kissing him again. “I’m never going to get tired of kissing you.”

“Good. Because my plan for tonight is no sex. Just kissing.” Quentin smiled and started unbuttoning Eliot’s trousers. 

Eliot swallowed and blinked a few times as he watched Quentin. “I’m not sure I’d actually argue too much.” 

“Oh come on. You’d complain constantly. But don’t worry, I’ll follow through with my promises.” Quentin winked. 

Eliot smiled and started working on unbuttoning Quentin’s shirt. “I won’t argue with that, either.” 

Quentin caught Eliot’s hands and smiled. “Enough pretense. Get naked and get in the bed.” 

“Oooh. Sir, yes sir.” Eliot wiggled his eyebrows and quickly stripped the last of his clothes off before nearly hopping into the bed. 

Quentin watched him and finished undressing as well. “Careful or I’ll decide to make you call me sir all night some day.” 

Eliot grinned and tucked his hands under his head, licking his lips. “Would you like that? If you impress me enough tonight maybe I’ll let you blindfold me next time.” 

“Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.” Quentin raised an eyebrow and got on the bed, moving Eliot’s legs apart so he could kneel between them. 

“Oh, sweetie, I never say anything I don’t plan to follow through with.” Eliot sat up and held the back of Quentin’s neck, kissing him and licking into Quentin’s mouth. “Now...are you going to fuck me or just talk all night?”

Quentin smiled and pushed Eliot back on the bed. “Fine. Moan if it feels good.” He winked and slid his hands down Eliot’s arms, taking his wrists and holding them above Eliot’s head as he leaned down to kiss him again. 

Sliding his tongue against Eliot’s, Quentin kept pressure on Eliot’s wrists above his head, kissing him just long enough that Eliot relaxed and let out a soft moan. Quentin smiled and moved back just a little, holding Eliot down with hand on his chest and one on his wrists when Eliot tried to kiss him again.  He waited, just a hair’s breadth away from kissing Eliot again, and smiled, moving just close enough that their mouths barely touched before moving back again. Eliot wiggled and tried to press forward again, whining softly and opening his eyes to look at Quentin when it proved fruitless. 

“I’ve given you too much power, haven’t I?” 

Quentin laughed softly and nodded. “Probably. But you won’t regret it.” 

“Oh...I don’t.” Eliot smiled and relaxed into the bed, closing his eyes. 

“Much better.” Quentin smiled and kissed Eliot’s throat. 

He nipped Eliot’s earlobe and sighed. “One question, though.” 

“Uh huh?” Eliot nearly moaned, wiggling a little as Quentin’s breath tickled his ear. 

“Can you come from penetration? And if no, do you want me to get you off before or after I fuck you?” 

Eliot’s eyes flew open and he glanced at Quentin. “No. After.” 

Quentin nodded and frowned a little as he watched Eliot. “You okay? You suddenly look...scared.” 

“I...I’m not scared,” Eliot blinked and shook his head, reaching out to smooth his hand across Quentin’s chest, “it’s just that no one has ever asked me that before so I didn’t know how to answer at first. That’s not a common feeling for me, when it comes to sex.” 

Quentin relaxed again, smiling at Eliot as he leaned down to kiss him again. “Okay. As long as you’re okay. Now stop talking about your emotions before we both get soft.” 

Eliot laughed and winked. “Yes sir.” 

Quentin smiled and sat back, looking Eliot up and down. “Now. I have to decide just how I want to do this. God knows I’ve been thinking about it for some time. I think I’m going to go with my tried and true approach.” 

“And what’s that?” Eliot leaned over and grabbed their lube from the side table. 

“Fuck first and foreplay after.” Quentin took the lube from Eliot and smiled. 

Eliot rolled his eyes. “Foreplay means before.You can’t have foreplay after you have sex. Then it’s just cuddling afterward and talking about your feelings and we do the cuddling part normally but not necessarily the feeli-AHH!”Eliot arched his back and reached up to hold onto the headboard as Quentin pressed into him slowly. 

“Oh god. Warn a man.” Eliot panted and focused on relaxing.

Quentin smiled, holding Eliot’s hip as he slowly pressed into Eliot. “You were talking too much. I wanted to find a way to shut you up. This seemed like a good option.” 

Eliot whimpered as Quentin pressed flush against him. Quentin shifted closer, resting his weight on his elbows, hands coming to rest under Eliot’s shoulders, as he gave Eliot a moment to relax and breathe. As soon as the blush faded from Eliot’s cheeks and the muscles around his cock relaxed a little, Quentin started to roll his hips slowly. He took advantage of their closeness to kiss Eliot again. It was messy and more wet than it needed to be, but Eliot moaned again, hands coming to rest on Quentin’s back as he spread his legs further apart and started to rock with Quentin. 

“Good?” Quentin pulled away a little and watched Eliot’s face. 

Eliot moaned again and nodded. “Yeah. I think I’m finally catching my breath.” 

“Oh...we can’t have that.”

Quentin smiled and got a tighter grip on Eliot’s shoulders before he snapped his hips forward suddenly, eliciting a ragged moan from Eliot. Grinning wider, Quentin set up a rhythm for their sex that was just slower than Eliot wanted and just harder than he expected. It was grueling and between the way Quentin was fucking him and the friction of Quentin’s stomach on his cock, for the first time in his life Eliot thought he could come from anal penetration. He would have said something about it, but his throat was starting to feel raw from moaning. He wasn’t alone in being noisy, though. Quentin had pressed his face into Eliot’s neck and his moaning was only slightly muffled by Eliot’s skin. 

“El...El I’m sorry I’m not gonna last much longer.” his voice broke as he tried to keep himself together. 

Eliot shook his head and reached down to squeeze Quentin’s ass, pulling him closer. “I don’t care. I don’t give a single fuck. Oh my god, Q this is amazing.” 

Quentin got a tighter grip on Eliot’s shoulders and smiled as he picked up his pace, moaning again as he started to chase his own release instead of focusing on teasing Eliot. 

“Fuck...fuck...fuck El.” 

Eliot grabbed Quentin’s face, pulling Quentin out of his neck so he could his Quentin, moaning into Quentin’s mouth. That was all it too for Quentin to lose his last threads of control. Quentin moaned again loudly, mouth more pressed against Eliot’s than actually kissing him as he came, hips rocking gently still as he rode out his orgasm. Eliot smiled as he felt Quentin come, kissing Quentin’s cheek and jaw. Quentin rested his forehead against Eliot’s and caught his breath, staying close as the thrum of his pulse in his ears started to die down. 

“Two...two seconds and I’m going to take care of you.” Quentin smiled and opened his eyes finally, leaning back a little so he could see Eliot clearly. 

Eliot nodded and licked his lips. “Yes please. That was amazing but I’m still so hard.” 

Quentin grit his teeth as he pulled out of Eliot and shifted back to sit on his heels. “Then I’m going to have to take care of that.”

Eliot shivered and watched him. “Please do. I almost came from that but it wasn’t quite enough.” 

“Then we will see if my mouth is enough.” Quentin winked and settled onto his stomach between Eliot’s legs. “Oh this is a lovely sight.”

He watched his own semen leaking out of Eliot before using two fingers to push it back in. Eliot moaned and arched his back. Quentin watched him and smiled, kissing the underside of Eliot’s erection. 

“Oh...oh god. Oh god Q I like that.” Eliot reached down to hold onto Quentin’s nearly shoulder length hair, getting a full handful of Quentin’s hair. 

Quentin smiled and took Eliot’s cock into his mouth, gently hooking his fingers as he worked them inside of Eliot. Eliot moaned and rocked into Quentin’s mouth, squeezing around Quentin’s fingers as he gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Fuck, Q. This is gonna take, like, one minute max.” Eliot tugged on Quentin’s hair and kept rolling his hips up into Quentin’s mouth. 

Quentin groaned and kept working his fingers as he relaxed his throat, letting Eliot set the pace. It really didn’t take long. Within half a minute Quentin was swallowing around Eliot, sliding his fingers free as he sat back and looked at Eliot. Eliot was stretched out on the bed, one arm over his eyes as he panted to catch his breath. 

“So...good time, then?” Quentin’s voice was a little raspy from moaning loudly then promptly swallowing semen. 

Eliot nodded, whimpering softly. “Really good. I’ve hit the jackpot.”

“How’s that?” Quentin moved to lie next to Eliot, moving Eliot’s arm off his face and smoothing Eliot’s hair out of his eyes. 

Eliot watched Quentin, eye’s soft and full of emotion. “With you. I’ve hit the jackpot.” 

Quentin met Eliot’s eyes and smiled. “Wow. I’m that good at topping?” 

Eliot smiled and closed his eyes, settling into the bed as he slipped an arm around Quentin and pulled him close. “You’re a loud, needy bottom and a pushy, forceful top. I get the best of both worlds and then I also wake up next to my best friend. Jackpot.” 

Quentin laughed and rested his head on Eliot’s chest, draping an arm across Eliot’s stomach. “Good. I’m glad you think that. So I’m not out of practice topping?”

“Not. At. All.” Eliot grinned and rubbed his hand up and down Quentin’s back. 

Quentin closed his eyes and sighed. “Good. I’ve got a date with Reddah tomorrow and...I mean I don’t plan on sleeping with her on the first date but it’s good to know that a long celibacy followed by two months of taking it hasn’t made me forget how to take control.” 

Eliot’s hand on Quentin’s back stilled and he stared at the ceiling, feeling the blood in his veins grow cold. “You have a date tomorrow?”


	12. No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned this entire fic out a year ago before I even watched Season 3. Tonight I finally caught back up and proceeded to laugh at how many things I predicted in my fic. Just wait. But just like what happened in the episode where these two lived an entire lifetime together, rather than dealing with his feelings Quentin just off and finds him a woman to attach himself to.

Quentin closed his eyes and sighed. “Good. I’ve got a date with Reddah tomorrow and...I mean I don’t plan on sleeping with her on the first date but it’s good to know that a long celibacy followed by two months of taking it hasn’t made me forget how to take control.” 

Eliot’s hand on Quentin’s back stilled and he stared at the ceiling, feeling the blood in his veins grow cold. “You have a date tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I was feeling really...weird this morning, I guess? I just wasn’t right and it kept bothering me and bothering me that it felt like there was something I was missing. Then it hit me, Reddah. I’ve spent so much time working with her in the last two months and I...I guess I’ve started to fall for her. So I asked her out today. I still don’t know what we’re going to do tomorrow but considering how freaked out she often is by my being a king of Fillory, I’ll probably let her choose what we do.” 

Eliot nodded, hand still unmoving as he stared up at the ceiling. “Good for you. I’m glad you figured out what was bothering you.” 

Quentin looked up at Eliot, noticing his friend’s voice had gotten colder and more monotone. “Don’t worry, El. At least for now nothing has to change between the two of us. Our arrangement can still stand. If she can’t understand that we’re just friends then she’s not the woman I think she is.” 

Eliot nodded, glancing down at Quentin but not meeting his gaze for long. “I’m not worried. I’m just…” 

“Still catatonic from good sex?” Quentin grinned. 

Eliot slipped out of Quentin’s grasp and fixed him with a wry smile. “You wish, Q. No, I just realized I need to double check the flow on the stills. If this goes right I might actually have a decent gin and I haven’t had a martini in ages.” 

“Oh. Want me to come with you?” Quentin sat up in the bed and started looking for his clothes. 

Eliot pushed on Quentin’s shoulder gently and shook his head. “No. Stay. Rest. You have a big date tomorrow after all.” 

Quentin laughed as Eliot winked at him. “I suppose I do. Any pointers?”

Eliot quickly finished buttoning his shirt and sighed as he thought. “Don’t try and be suave. It just makes you look like an idiot. Embrace the fact that you’re a little bit of a lo…,” he cleared his throat, coughing on seemingly nothing to cover up his change of words, “sorry. A likable buffoon. It’s part of your charm.”

“So I should be a dork? No offense, El, but that sounds like terrible advice.” Quentin leaned on his elbow and raised an eyebrow. 

“Worked on Alice, didn’t it?” Eliot winked, “Sleep. I’ll be back later.” 

Before Quentin could reply, Eliot fled the room, mask of composure slipping away as soon as the door closed. He leaned against the wall outside the bedroom and sighed, running his hands through his hair. Couldn’t Quentin have waited until the morning to mention that? Or never preferably? Now Eliot had a ass sticky with seme, a lump in his throat that he was fighting to keep down, and he couldn’t even sleep in his own bed. Walking to Margo’s room, he went in and missed her more than he had in a very long time. He needed someone to talk to about this. Someone to make fun of him for falling for Quentin, of all people. Someone to hold his hand and remind him that he was worth loving back. He needed his best friend. But, then again, the last time he needed her she wasn’t there for him. Not really. Not like he needed her to be as had tried to put himself together after having to kill the man he’d fallen in love with. What delusion of heartbreak was making him think she would act any different this time. No, no he was alone. 

Eliot shook his head and put those thoughts aside. Not now. Not again. Not alone in this damned magic kingdom. He could break down or spiral later. But right now he was a king and not just some drunken graduate student that killed his boyfriend. Right now he couldn’t afford to go to that place again. Right now he needed a bath and to sleep. 

Half stumbling into Margo’s bathroom he started to fill the tub, filling it with enough hot water that the boiler they used to have running hot water was probably mostly empty. As he stripped out of the clothes, memories of Quentin taking them off of him not long ago, the burn of the water on his skin felt like heaven.  It felt like washing the memories of the last two months away as he sat in Margo’s overly large and ornate tub, scrubbing himself until his skin was pink and felt a little raw. When he stood up out of the tub and started it draining, the weight of his heartache felt a little lighter. Changing into the emergency pajamas that Margo kept in her room for any male visitors, he got into her bed and sighed, feeling even better with his head on a soft pillow. Before all of this bullshit he used to sleep in Margo’s room regularly. She was his other half. 

A longing for that familiarity began to creep into Eliot’s chest. He really did miss Margo, his Margo.. Had Margo been around he wouldn’t have needed Quentin so much. He wouldn’t have opened up. It would have just been sex and not sex that led to feelings. 

“Fucking feelings.” Eliot grabbed one of the many pillows in the bed and hugged it to his chest. 

It wasn’t that he wanted to cry so much as that he was powerless to stop himself once he had started. He should have known he was fucked the moment he saw Quentin stumble onto his field, a sudden lighthouse in the storm of Fillory. Eliot had felt happier than he could explain at the sight of his friend. When they started sleeping together he knew something was different. Mostly because it really was sleeping together at first. Quentin provided him a comfort that only Margo had been able to before. And Margo, much as he loved her and enjoyed a little Thai food now and then, was not the type of entree he wanted to commit to eating every night. Quentin, though, was. It wasn’t even a week into having sex most nights that Eliot realized he was developing feelings. And fuck if he didn’t think Quentin was as well. 

“When you fuck a friend you don’t hold them after and talk about life. What the fuck, man.” Eliot half yelled at the stone ceiling, tears streaming down his cheeks as he took out his anger at the empty room. 

They spent almost every free minute together. They ate dinner together. They played games together. Then after they’d come back to the room they started to share and fuck like rabbits. To anyone looking and to Eliot it sure as hell felt like a relationship. And he had been waiting for Quentin to bail the whole time. Until that fucking morning when Quentin was so calm about the time that had passed and until he had acted on impulse and kissed Quentin outside the bedroom. It was like two tests in one and Quentin passed them like someone in love. But apparently only one person had fallen in love. 

There, on Margo’s bed, crying as deeply as he ever had in his life, Eliot could not deny that he had fallen in love with Quentin. After killing Mike, Eliot had done his best to lock his heart away. To be sure he wouldn’t go through that hell again. The betrayal was less horrific this time, yes, but it did nothing to ease the ache in his chest as the minutes past and Eliot slowly fell asleep, tears drying on his cheeks. 

Not long before dawn, Eliot wakes up, clawing at the blankets as he shouts in terror, some dark figure hunting him in his dreams. Wiping the sweat out of his eyes, Eliot looks around, catching his breath still. The weeks with Quentin had gotten him spoiled by peaceful sleep. It seemed like fear was his way of life again. His heart rate finally returning to normal, Eliot looked around the room and sighed, watching the sun starting to creep through the window. 

“Shit. Well...you don’t get to fall apart this time, Waugh. Time to go run the fucking country. If Karma exists she owes me. You hear that, universe? You owe me!” Eliot shouts as he stands up, making up the bed and gathering his clothes from the day before. 

“I want the hottest man that has ever existed. Tall, but still shorter than me, olive skin, blue eyes, and an ass I could eat dinner off of. And I want him horny just, like, constantly. And I want him to, for some reason, only ever want me. That’s what I want.” He tucked his discarded clothes under his arm, still wearing the pajamas he found in Margo’s room, and headed off towards the laundry in search of something to wear. 

Selecting hallways that weren’t used by Fillorians, Eliot passed by a group of three fairies who watched him with that eerie, detached manner as he passed. 

“Good morning gentlemen. Or...ladies? Neither? Both? I’m honestly not sure. Enjoying taking advantage of my people still?” Eliot smiled at them, feeling a little manic as he passed the group, not waiting for an answer, and made his way to the laundry. 

By the grace of his own massive wardrobe, Eliot was able to find a full outfit, dried and ready to be delivered back to his room, that he changed into. It felt like putting on armor that one time he had actually worn armor. And in a way it was. It was the armor of himself, who he had built himself up to be in Fillory, and it was something that existed before his love for Quentin and something that would exist long after he stopped loving Quentin. Even if his heart was shattered, he was still the High King of Fillory. With that mantle firmly fixed in his heart, Eliot pushed away any other feelings and made his way to the dining room. 

Quentin was already there when he entered the room and, for just a moment, Eliot felt like he was going to implode on himself. His teeth creaked as he pushed that feeling down further, holding his head high as he walked to sit across from Quentin. 

Quentin looked up at him, half startled by the person suddenly in front of him. The dark circles under his eyes suggesting he hadn’t slept well either and Eliot could only hope he didn’t look as ragged as Quentin did. 

“Hey. I was worried about you. You didn’t come back to bed last night.” Quentin picked at his breakfast, the tension easing out of his shoulders at Eliot’s presence. 

Eliot held himself tighter as he started to eat, feeling like a wound spring. “No. I got caught up in working on my still and by the time I finished it was so late I worried I’d disturb you so I just slept there.” 

“You wouldn’t have. I really didn’t sleep much last night. I kept thinking I’d done something wrong. Did...did I do something wrong?” Quentin watched Eliot with soft, imploring eyes. 

As much as Eliot wanted to stand up and scream that Quentin had done something wrong, he only shook his head. “No. Quentin, no offense, but you doing something wrong wouldn’t drive me out of my own bed. I just want this gin to be a success.” 

“So...I didn’t do something wrong...in bed?” 

“You mean with the sex?” Eliot rolled his eyes at Quentin’s continued difficulty at discussing sex in frank terms, “No, Q. The sex was great. Maybe a little disappointing, though. I was starting to get bored and I hoped the switch up would help but it didn’t, really. I suppose it’s good you’ve got that date today.” 

Quentin frowned and watched him. “But I thought you said…” 

“Quentin,” Eliot looked up at his friend, cutting him off before Quentin could finish his sentence, “a little advice, sweetie. Never trust what someone says when they’ve just had an orgasm. Trust what they say in the cold light of morning. For a simple girl like whoever it is you’re seeing today, you’ll blow her socks off. I am just a little more...hard to please is all. I get bored after a short while and need to move on.” 

“So you want to…” 

“Move on? I don’t know yet. Maybe. It will likely be easier on us both so you don’t have to explain the situation to this girl. You can just fuck her how you want and I can search for my next conquest.” Eliot shrugged. 

Quentin blinked, looking at his plate as if it had been the one to insult him. “So I...I was just another conquest?”

Eliot reached out across the table to take Quentin’s hand, ready to deliver the death blow to whatever it was the two of them had been doing. “Q, you will never be just another conquest. You are my friend and you will always be my friend. But your ass hole can only interest me for so long and I’m ready to move on. I leave my conquests behind and never speak to them again. So you’re not just another conquest. But you are another notch in the bedpost.” 

Quentin watched him for a moment and blinked. This wasn’t bad. It meant less sex until things with Reddah took off, but it wasn’t bad. But if it wasn’t bad, then why did he feel like he’d been kicked in the chest by a horse? Tamping down that feeling and focusing on his feelings for Reddah, Quentin finally nodded. 

“Okay. I mean...I-I can’t say I’m happy being just another notch. But as long as I’m still your friend.” 

“Quentin, no matter what, you will always be my friend.” Eliot let go of Quentin’s hand and nodded, truly feeling that sentiment in his heart. 

Quentin sighed and relaxed some more, starting to eat even though he suddenly felt nauseated. 

Eliot continued to poke at his food, watching Quentin. “I have to say, though. As your friend. You look like shit.” 

Quentin laughed and ran a hand over his face. “Fuck. I’m sure I do. I need to get some air and clear my head, I think. I spent the whole night convinced I’d fucked something up I’m still having to adjust my mindset.” 

Eliot swallowed, pushing down the reflux that filled his throat at the truth of Quentin’s statement. “Take all the time you need. May I recommend the greenhouses. They always make me feel calm.” 

“Thanks, El. I’ll do that.” Quentin stood and smiled at Eliot again before heading out of the room. 

Once the door closed behind him it was like shutting off the water flow in a hose. Eliot felt his shoulders sag and his smile collapse all at once. Being around Quentin was like walking on broken glass and he was going to have to limit their interactions until he could get over these feelings. Step one was to deal with their proximity at night. Eliot called one of the servants and laid out his orders. His things were to be packed up from his room and moved to one of the empty wings. It meant a smaller room, but it also meant distance. He left his bedding and enough things in his old room that Quentin wouldn’t know he had moved, but moved enough into the new room that he no longer had to sleep with Quentin just across the hall. 

Once that was set he went about arranging his schedule with the farm so that he didn’t have to eat breakfast or dinner with Quentin. He’d only need to see him when they met with the people together. That time together was not desired, but for the sake of Fillory, it was still necessary. By the time he saw Quentin leaving the castle to go on his date, Eliot had successfully created a chasm between the two of them so wide that he would be protected from facing Quentin unexpectedly. It wasn’t exactly much, but it was the best safety net he could provide himself. 

One month later, Eliot had only accidentally run into Quentin once and that was when Eliot had been diverting from his normal pattern in order to get a book from the library. The distance hadn’t helped his feelings for Quentin. Eliot still cried himself to sleep some nights and felt like he would throw up every time he watched Quentin smile. But it had provided him the space necessary to not feel completely broken every single day. Two days of the month, actually, he’d almost felt happy. It was a hopeful prospect that he was actually getting over Quentin. 

A hopeful prospect that was shattered with a single note from Quentin, left with one of the staff and delivered while Eliot ate dinner. 

_ Eliot,  _

_ I know we’ve both been busy and haven’t seen each other much lately. I’ve been out of the castle most evenings and I know the farm is taking up more time and all of that, but I was hoping we could have dinner together tomorrow at 6:00. Please, Eliot. For me. Make time if you can.  _

_ Q _

Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the impact of his pulse in his ears. The longing, sadness, and choking feeling in his throat as he fought back tears proved that he had not gotten over Quentin at all. And as much as he wanted to say no, to leave for a few days, to miss this dinner, the slight chance that Quentin might want to discuss their relationship was too great a temptation. Because what if? What if Quentin wanted him back? What if Quentin realized it was all a mistake? Eliot knew he would take him back. Oh sure he’d tease and Quentin would owe him, but it wouldn’t really matter at the prospect of being back with the person he loved. 

“Oh my god I’m such a loser!” Eliot stood up quickly, knocking his chair over as he did so. 

The servant who was there refilling his glass jumped, spilling some fairly shitty wine on the table. “I’m sorry, my King? Have I done something wrong?” 

Eliot looked at the young, scared looking woman and shook his head. “No. It’s not you. It’s me.” 

“Very well, sir. May I do anything to aid you?” 

Eliot stared at her for a long time. “Maybe. I’m not sure. You’re fairly pretty. Do you date much?” 

She blushed and looked away. “I...I am not unfamiliar with romantic entanglements. But I am not with anyone at the moment.” 

“Good. Oh god not for me, though. Don’t get the wrong idea. You’re not my type. Too...sweet. God maybe that is my type, though.” Eliot winced and sat down again, motioning for the woman to sit in the seat across from him. “Okay so have you ever cared about someone so much that it’s like the core of who you are changes? Like you used to be cool and suave and now suddenly you’re just sad and...sensitive.” He said the last word as if the idea made him nauseated. 

The servant settled her skirts around her hips as she sat in the chair and took a long breath. “Yes, sir. Once.” 

“Are you still different?” 

“A little, maybe.” 

“Why? Why did you change?” 

She watched him with careful eyes, still uncertain about what was happening. “Well...for me I can only assume it’s the same thing that happened to friends of mine. When you fall in love with a person it changes you. You love who they are whether that’s similar to you or not, and if they’re very different from you then you end up loving that enough that you become it.”

“So you’re saying that because I love someone who is a whiny, touchy feely ass hole I’m a little bit of a whiny, touchy feely ass hole?” 

“I’m not saying that, sir. I’m just saying that loving and...losing?” She asked, waiting for his slight nod before continuing on,” well it changes a person. You get a chance to learn something from it. Learn who you could be and not just who you have been.” 

Eliot sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Fuck. You’re right. I know you are. But I was just hoping you’d tell me to grow up and go back to who I was. Thank you. I’m sorry to take up so much of your time.” 

The woman stood and smiled. “It’s my pleasure to be of assistance to the King. I hope...I hope you’re able to find some peace. You deserve it for all the good you’ve done here.” 

“That’s what I keep saying. Tell karma she owes me.” 

“Uh...yes, sir I will.” The woman looked confused but bowed, quickly making her exit from the room. 

So the weepy bullshit was here to stay. Great. Maybe it wasn’t all bad. Loving Mike, for better or for worse, had made him feel like there was a chance he’d find someone to spend his life with. He’d never felt that way before. Maybe this would be okay. Maybe he’d learn something from Quentin, too. 

Or maybe Quentin wanted him back. 

That thought haunted him for 24 hours as he tried to get through the day and survive until dinner. He put on his nicest outfit and spent far too long settling his hair into the perfect, accidentally sexy style. It took him long enough that he was a few minutes late to the dining room. 

The sight that greeted him as he walked into the dining room set off his fight or flight response, making him fight against the urge to turn and sprint out of the room. Quentin is there, draped over some woman with his tongue down her throat as she plays with his hair. He used to love playing with Quentin’s hair too. Fighting down the acid in his throat, Eliot coughed and closed the door behind him. Quentin and Reddah jumped apart from one another but only Reddah had the decency to blush as Eliot made his way to his place at the table. 

“Sorry, El. We really can’t keep our hands off each other.” Quentin smiled at his friend. 

Eliot did his best to give a genuine smile in return as he sat. “I can tell. This must be Reddah.” 

“It is. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you two earlier but...well we’ve been struggling to even eat when the two of us are alone together.” Quentin looked at her and smiled. 

Reddah blushed dark red and playfully slapped Quentin’s arm. “Hush. That’s not something you share.” 

“It’s something I share with Eliot. He’s my closest friend so we share everything. And I do mean everything. This is nothing compared to the horrific details he’s given me about his own sex life.” 

Eliot smiled but it was almost more of a grimace so he sipped the martini he had sitting at his place, wincing instead at the cut rate gin in it. “What can I say, sharing is caring.” 

“It really is. And speaking of…” Quentin took a slow breath and took Reddah’s hand. 

“Oh what fresh hell is this? Not more gory sex life details, I hope.” Eliot stared at them, bracing himself for whatever it was that Quentin was winding up to.” 

Quentin glanced at Reddah and then smiled at Eliot. “El we...well I want to ask your permission to marry her. I know, I know you’re not her father. You’re not my father. You’re...well you’re not anyone’s father but you’re the High King. It felt wrong to get engaged without asking your permission first.” 

In that moment, Eliot was fairly sure he was having an aneurysm. Or, at least, he was really doing his best to cause one. He stared at Quentin and Reddah, willing his brain to form words but nothing would come out. Well...he could scream. That was what his mind actually wanted to do. That was all he wanted to do. He wanted to scream and throw things and cry and apparently forming words was beyond his current capabilities. 

After a long moment Quentin’s smile fell away and he blinked, suddenly looking worried. “El? Are you okay? You look...you look almost green. Like you look when you’ve had too much to drink and you’re about to hurl all over the table. Are you about to---” 

In that moment three people spoke all at once. 

Quentin asked, “Are you about to hurl all over the table?” 

Reddah turned to Quentin and frowned, saying, “Quentin you shouldn’t have sprung that on him.” 

And, finally, Eliot found his voice as he simply said, “No.”

It took a second for Quentin to process the chaos of three voices at once, but when his mind finally sorted through the sounds he stared at Eliot, eyebrows knitting together. “No?”

“That’s right,” Eliot finished his drink and calmly stood up from the table, “I said no. Marry her if you want. Settle down. Start a family. Live your own life. But I’m not giving you my blessing. I can’t. Not with this and not with her.” 

Eliot nodded and turned, walking out of the room. 


	13. Bambi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day. Have some angst. But also have the truest and most real love in the entire Magicians series. This is the chapter in which I accidentally called stuff that actually happened in the show a year before it aired.

“Did...did he just say no?” Quentin stared at the door Eliot had just disappeared through. 

Reddah sighed, shoulders slumping forward. “It’s because I’m a commoner, isn’t it.” 

Quentin turned to her and took her hand. “No, sweetie, no that’s not it. I mean...he and I are really just commoners where we’re from. His wife is a commoner. Was? I really don’t know if she’s ever coming back but she’s a commoner. I don’t understand why he said no but there’s got to be a reason. Maybe I...maybe I should go after him.” 

Quentin jogged through the door, catching sight of Eliot as he headed down to the stills. 

“El! Eliot wait up!” 

As much as he wanted to keep walking, Eliot stopped and quickly wiped the few rogue tears that had made their way onto his cheeks before he turned around to face Quentin. 

“What do you want, Quentin?” 

“I want to know what that was about.” Quenti put his hands on his hips and stood in front of Eliot. 

Eliot set his jaw and shrugged. “I said no. You of all people should know what that is.” 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that I have seen a lot of people say no to you. Now I’m one of them. Shouldn’t be too hard for you to cope with.”

Quentin took a step forward and scoffed. “Okay...but it is hard for me to cope with. You’re my best friend and you won’t approve of my engagement. That stings a little bit.” 

“Really? Just a little bit?” Eliot raised an eyebrow, tone getting more mocking as he fought down the urge to cry. 

“Eliot...why are you treating me like this. It’s...it’s kinda pissing me off.” 

Eliot took a step closer, looking down at Quentin. “Good. Be pissed off and leave. It’ll be for the best. Because I’m tired of your whining and I’m tired of your drama. I’m tired of you falling in love with every sad girl with daddy issues and big tits and then expecting the rest of us to actually believe you love her this time. I got news for you, Quentin. I’m not picking you up off the floor this time when she realizes she can do better and leaves you just like Alice did so no, I’m not approving of your latest attempt to pretend that your life isn’t a sack of steaming horse shit in a mopey wrapper.” 

It was too much. Eliot knew it was too much but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to hurt Quentin as much as Quentin had hurt him even if just so he felt less alone in his heartache. He knew it was too much. But watching the man he had fallen in love with go cold, watching his best friend take a step back, and watching Quentin draw back and punch him square in the face was not the reaction Eliot was expecting. Half from shock and half from the defeat of the moment, Eliot’s knees gave out and he slumped to the ground, back hitting the wall behind him. Holding his throbbing cheekbone, Eliot watched Quentin turn, not even concerned for the wellbeing of his friend, and walk away. 

Good. Now Eliot didn’t have to watch Quentin get married. And, much as it was really a cruel thing to say, at least now Eliot wouldn’t have to watch Quentin and Reddah’s relationship eventually fall apart like it had with Alice. Picking Quentin up off the floor from a broken heart while feeling so strongly for him was just something Eliot couldn’t face doing. So he watched Quentin walk away before getting up and proceeding to drink until his lips were numb and he didn’t even care if the staff saw him crying. 

In fact, for the next two days Eliot did little more than drink. It was a major regression, yes, but he deserved the break. On the third day he dared to look into his room and found that all of Quentin’s things had been moved out. There were some things in Quentin’s old room, but a decent number of his clothes and possessions were simply gone, obviously moved into wherever Reddah lived. At least Eliot got his room back. 

After stripping the bed of blankets and putting all his clothes and things back into their places, Eliot felt good about having his own bedroom back. That feeling gave him enough focus to go to the fields the next day to work. No one commented about his black eye or the still healing abrasion on his cheek. No one really talked to him at all but that was Eliot’s preference really. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to drown in shitty gin until it didn’t hurt anymore but because he was a High King now he couldn’t actually do that. So he quietly worked, quietly ate, and quietly slept that night. Then he woke up and quietly went to breakfast the next morning, picking at his food more than eating it. When he was finally bored of sitting and ready to work, he stood and began to head for the door.  As he reached for the handle of the door it flew open, banging into the wall and causing Eliot to stumble backwards, losing his balance and falling onto his hip on the ground. 

“Holy FUCK it is good to be back here.” Margo, both eyes in tact, shook her head and walked into the room, heading straight for the table and Eliot’s barely touched plate of food. “Did you know they don’t eat food there? Not real food at least. I’m goddamn starving.” 

She sat and started to eat as Eliot stared, mouth half open. “Margo?”

“And if you actually do eat their food it makes your entire mouth numb for a hour and then you see weird colors for two hours. It sounds like it would be a fun thing, drugged food and all, but after a little while you start to think you’d literally kill and spit roast a fucking rat. If there even were rats there.” Margo kept eating. 

Eliot stood and walked around to the end the table so he could get a better look at Margo. 

“You...you’re back.” Eliot couldn’t fully close his mouth at the shock. 

“Obviously. Did you get stupid while I was...oh no.” Margo finally looked up and saw Eliot. 

She saw his still fading black eye, his unkempt clothes, his messy hair, and stood quickly from the table, food entirely forgotten. 

“El...baby what’s wrong?” Margo took a careful step closer, holding her hand out toward Eliot as if he were a wild deer she didn’t want to scare away. 

But Eliot wasn’t scared. Eliot was more relieved than he could say and so he didn’t say anything. He shook his head as his eyes filled with tears and rushed toward Margo. She met him halfway, stretching up so she could pull his head down onto her shoulder and run her fingers through his hair as he hugged her tight. This was what Eliot had needed. This was what he had needed back then when she was gone and he was falling apart after Mike and this was what he needed now. He needed his other half to tell him how he was supposed to put himself back together again. And so Eliot cried, holding her tight even as his tears stung his bruised eye and cheek. 

Margo held Eliot tight, a little scared by his desperation, but she held on nonetheless, petting his hair and whispering soothing things to him. 

“Baby. It’s okay, baby. What happened? What’s going on?” 

Eliot sniffed, unable to let her go enough to lift his face off her shoulder. “Bambi, I missed you.” 

Margo held onto Eliot’s face, lifting it up to look him in the eyes. “El, talk to me, you’re scaring me.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m just...I’m an idiot.” Eliot sniffed and swallowed, trying to get a hold of himself. He wasn’t sure he could say it. He had said it in his mind but to say, out loud, that he loved Quentin? That was more than he was ready for just then.  

Margo looked at him for a moment and narrowed her eyes. “Okay. Just...talk to me when you’re ready, okay? I know I wasn’t here for you before and I don’t wanna make that mistake again. I’m here. And I want to listen.” 

Eliot nodded and smiled, wiping his face dry. “I know, Bambi. I will. Soon. But for now you should eat and tell me about the fairies. I wanna hear what happened.” 

Margo smiled and stepped back, sitting at the tabe and starting to eat again. “Well...it took a long time but we struck a deal.” 

“We as in…” Eliot sat across from her, not even thinking about sitting in what had lately become Quentin’s chair. 

“As in the Fairy Queen and I.” 

Eliot took a carrot off the plate he had abandoned, appetite suddenly returning, and narrowed his eyes. “Wait...really? I thought she was crazy.” 

“Oh she is. But so am I, if we’re being honest. It took us...I don’t even know how long because time moves different there from here. Bit like here and Earth, but it’s like you don’t feel the flow of time there. So I don’t know if it was the same here and there. But we talked for what felt like forever.” 

“It was a few months here.” Eliot nodded, feeling the memories of the last months push forward in his mind. 

Margo shrugged and kept eating. “Okay. It was...a minute and also a year all at once there so...weird. So for that much time we just talked. It turns out the fairies used to live here but the Fillorians banished them because the deals they made and their magic scared the Fillorians. See the fairies, like us, can do magic here but their magic is like...twice as strong here as opposed to anywhere else. Their stories say they were formed from the soil of Fillory and they’re stronger when they’re close to it. But it comes with a catch. They can only perform magic when it is a part of a deal. Or at least big magic. They keep their society going and everything but they can’t do the fancy stuff without a deal. Either way they want to come back, but a spell from one of the former shitty High Kings means they’re  _ persona non grata here _ . Or they were. Magic being gone has made it weird because, like, they can come here but they can’t really stay because they’re still bound by some clause of a former deal. Essentially what I learned is that they’re not actually monsters but after a while of being second class citizens they got mean.”

“Okay but...they’re ass holes who are literally occupying the castle. So it’s not like they’re second class anymore.” 

“But they are. They can be here short term but they can’t really live here. The castle was just leverage to try to get a way back to their homeland. But without another deal they’re still cut off from it long term.”

Eliot narrowed his eyes. “Fuck... So I have to make a deal now to get rid of them? What do they want this time?” 

Margo shook her head. “It’s not what it’s who.” 

“They took my kid. Who else do they want? And what happened to your eye? How did you get it back?” Eliot started to feel frustrated by the lack of information. 

“Hold on,” Margo sighed, “I’m telling you everything it’s just...there’s a lot to tell. They want...ya see? So...while we were arguing and shouting and bickering and sniping, the Queen and I...got to know one another.” 

Eliot felt the color drain from his face. “Oh no.” 

“Oh yes.” Margo smiled wide, raising her eyebrows as she took another bite of food.

“Bambi, I’m not giving you to her.” 

“El...there would be no giving. We both know no one gives me away. You would be...letting me. Fillorian rules and all I technically need your permission.” Margo shifted in her seat, uncharacteristically uncomfortable. 

Eliot stared at her, mouth half open. In the course of a week his two closest friends had come to him to ask permission to get married. It was like everyone who he had ever loved was leaving him all at once. 

“You...you actually like her?”

Margo met his gaze, eyes hard. “Of course I do. She would do anything for her people. Anything, El. She would kill and pillage and gamble away her own life...just to protect them. Nothing stands in her way. It is...incredibly sexy.” 

Eliot grimaced. “Oh my god...you fucked her?” 

Margo shrugged and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “So? For what it’s worth that’s how I got my eye back. She said she didn’t like looking at the eyepatch when we were that close. So she gave it back for that night. And the next one. And the next one. And then she just let me keep it.” 

Eliot stared at her, shaking his head. “I don’t get it. You hated her.” 

“Yeah well I...really like her now. Hell I could probably love her given time. And so we struck a deal. We get married by Fillorian law. No one has to know but us, but her people will come back to Fillory, live in the forests where they used to. In return they will fill the well with their excess magic, draining off some of the excess they get living here so that we can...have magic in Fillory again, at least. The wellspring itself will probably still be dry. But here? At least we can have something here. Fairy deals will probably spike for a while but the Queen said she will keep her people from seeking them out.” 

Eliot stared at the table for a long minute. It wasn’t long ago that he sat where Margo sat now and told Quentin no. It was beyond what he could give to give Quentin his blessing. But what about this? Was this something he could give? But it wasn’t his to give. Margo was her own woman and if she wanted this…who was he to be so selfish as to deny her happiness just because he was afraid to be alone. 

“Would you be happy if you married her? Really, truly happy?” Eliot finally looked up at Margo who was finishing the last scraps on the plate. 

She smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. None of us ever know if we’re going to be happy in the long run. But if you’re asking if I want to do this, yes. I do.” 

“And...would you live here or...”

“Here. That was one of my stipulations. I can’t leave you. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere without you just next door. And she said she wouldn’t leave her people, which I get. So we’d visit one another regularly, but we’d have our own lives. Meet up to hang out or fuck, whatever we want. Really it’s a perfect marriage for me: all the sex and none of the responsibility.” Margo smiled, looking just a little wistful as she remembered the Fairy Queen. 

Eliot sighed, feeling a stab of jealousy in his chest. Margo loved the Fairy Queen and had a chance to be with her. 

“I don’t know how the fuck any of this makes sense, but it does to you and that’s what matters. If there is anyone in this world that comes close to deserving you it would be the queen of a weird, magical race. So, okay. I’ll make the deal.” 

Margo smiled wider and reached across the table. Eliot reached out and took her hand, giving her a weak smile in return. 

“Don’t worry about it tonight. I have business here to deal with before we can move forward with that deal.” Margo squeezed his hand. “Come stay with me tonight and tell me about everything I missed?” 

“I...would love that.” Eliot gave Margo a genuine smile and stood up. “Come on. I’ll take you by the distillery on the way.” 

“Oh my god did you finally get a decent batch?”

“It’s not great but we’re going to need it.” 

Eliot tucked Margo’s hand in the crook of his elbow when they stood up and led Margo out of the room. Skipping over the part where he fell in love, Eliot spent the next hour telling her every single detail. They got tipsy and laughed over details of their sex lives for the last few months. And, many drinks into the night, Eliot finally talked about Mike. He told her everything and she apologized again for not being there. Eliot wasn’t actually sure how long it had been since they’d talked like this, but it felt like years since he’d felt so light. So complete. Like he’d gotten the other half of his soul back. They talked until they ran out of things to say and were both were struggling to stay awake. There, in the darkness, cuddled up with Margo like they used to in the Physical Kids house, Eliot found one last thing to say. 

“I fell in love with him.” Eliot whispered into the darkness. 

Margo shifted in the bed next to him, trying to see Eliot’s face in the scant bit of moonlight. “Oh no...Eliot. You didn’t.” 

Eliot nodded and sniffed, tears rolling out of the corners of his eyes. “Yes. And...and when he started dating that woman, I pushed him away. I...I didn’t tell you but...he asked for my blessing to marry her last week. I told him no and...and that’s how I got the black eye.” 

“He hit you because you said no?” 

“No...well...he asked why and I...I told him I couldn’t sit around and watch him fall in love with another sad, big breasted girl who would get tired of his whining before long and realize she could do better. Just like Alice.” 

“I mean...you’re not wrong. Alice is  _ stacked _ and hides it behind those bulky sweaters. Hot but crippling self doubt is certainly his type. But Eliot...why?” Margo ran her fingers through Eliot’s hair and sighed. 

“Because I love him and I just...I just can’t face seeing him with her. Killing Mike broke my heart but I had to do it. He wasn’t...he wasn’t the man I fell in love with. But Quentin? He is. And I can’t just...live with this.” Eliot wiped his eyes dry and sighed. 

Margo sighed and flopped back onto her back. “Or...and just hear me out here, or you could tell him the truth. Tell him how you feel.”

“I just don’t think I can, Bambi.” Eliot shook his head and sighed. 

“Well at least let me talk to him. I won’t mention how you feel, I promise. I just have to be sure he’s not...being Quentin about this and fucking everything up because he’s afraid to have nice things. You have to admit he does that a lot and if there’s a chance to at least keep him around. I mean, you singled him out on his test day and called dibs. We’ve had him around for a while now. I’m not ready to let him go, just yet.” 

Eliot was quiet for a moment before he sighed. “Okay. Just...not a word about this. It’s embarrassing enough to  _ have  _ feelings let alone discuss them.” 

“Your secret’s safe with me, El. But for now let’s sleep. We don’t have anything else to worry about tonight.” Margo wiggled further under the blankets. 

“I couldn’t agree more.” Eliot sighed and rolled onto his side, cuddling close and resting his head on Margo’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Bambi.” 

“Goodnight, Baby. It’s good to be home.” 

Eliot smiled and closed his eyes. “It’s good to have you back home.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my lovely friend...who made an inhuman screeching sound when I mentioned I had an idea for a Magicians fic.


End file.
